a quote I don’t like
“the grass isn’t always greener on the other side”
my reaction: I don’t like that quote because no one’s grass is green according to that logic. You might be green grass to someone even though you don’t think your own grass is green. Think about it. Everyone wishes they had something different about their life. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we are living on yellow grass.
back to hurting
Every year I throw out my back. There’s no rhyme or reason for it. I can’t explain it. I think it’s God’s way of telling me to slow down. I like to be active. Maybe it’s God punishing me? Either way it hurts. You know how hard it is to put on a sock. I feel like my back is going to dislodge from my body when pulling on my tube sock. The simple act of putting a sock on is so tough. It’s hard for people to be empathetic to back pain. You can’t see back pain. You just see how people walk gingerly down the street. You feel more sorry for someone who has a papercut because at least you can see that. You can see the cut. People with back pain just look constipated or that they just crapped their pants.
summer feet
I can’t wait until summer is over because I’m sick of seeing body parts. The one thing I hate about summer is when people hang there bare feet out of there cars while driving. They let it out for every one to see. Their feet just dangles like a sausage in a Italian deli. I don’t want to see some nasty fingerling feet hanging out your Prius. No Ford feet. No Ferrari feet. No Feet period. Stop the exposed feet. It makes me uncomfortable. That’s a true traffic hazard. They should teach that in drivers education. Rule number one no hanging dirty feet out your car. The driving community would all have a better summer.
dad moment
You ever use a public bathroom and hear someone in the stall struggling and talking to themselves. I’m like ‘here we go again’. There’s always some guy groaning and saying “come on… let’s go… stop that.. you can do it…”. It sounds like this guy is talking to his butt. It’s like he’s having an argument with his small intestine. The guy is having a therapy session with his anal. I’m just like get it together. Then you hear a flush and the man walks out the stall and you realize it’s a dad helping his 2 year old son use the bathroom.
waiter minute
My family and I ate at a nice restaurant one evening. It was super nice. When I say nice I mean expensive. There was some choices to be made as I was deciding what should I eat. When I go to expensive restaurants I want to sure I get most food for cheapest amount. I don’t even order what I want. I order just the dish that will make me full. It’s purely a functional meal at this point. When I don’t know what to get my brother will say, “ask the waiter what he likes”. I told him the waiter doesn’t know what’s in my mouth. He doesn’t know what my mouth likes. We could have completely different tastes. I should ask the waiter, “what will get me full?”.
dumb talent
Sometimes it’s better to be dumb in life than being smart. You can get away with being dumb if you’re dumb. People are like give him a break he’s dumb. They have low expectations for you. But if you have a little bit of talent and live an average life people will rip on you for being a waste. They will say, “he has so much potential. It’s sad. It’s a shame.” But if you’re dumb no one will ever say that. They’ll just think yep that dumb guy is supposed to write that blog.
doogie howser moment
In summary, I just want to put on a sock without hurting my back. I want to drive somewhere without seeing feet dangling out of someone’s Camary. People who dangle feet are dumb so I shouldn’t expect much. I need to stop using public bathrooms. There’s always some weird stuff going on in there. Maybe if I didn’t listen to my dumb mouth I would know how to order food better. I jabber a lot. Don’t listen to me my grass is yellow.