a phrase I use out of context
you play you pay
my reaction: I always tell my gf “you play you pay” when our kids are acting up. I’ll say, “this is what you wanted…you play you pay”. I like using quotes out of reference.
sherlock homes
I feel like a detective in my own house. I’m a detective of finding things to be annoyed by. I will search for clues and evidence like I’m Sherlock Holmes. I’m trying to find out who left a stain on the couch, a crumb on the table, or pee stain on the toilet seat lid. I’m using the latest in forensic science to figure out who was the culprit. I’m collecting DNA samples. I’ve caught the suspects red-handed and it’s my entire family.
room for landfill
The grossest thing in my house is not the garbage disposal or the toilet, it’s my teen’s bedroom garbage cans. It’s a landfill of junk food and candy. It’s a landmine of paper plates, tissue paper, and used napkins. It looks like a compost. I’m surprised flies aren’t hovering over like it’s a piece of dog poop on someone’s lawn. I fear I’m going to contract a rare virus when I step into their rooms. There shouldn’t be so much food in a bedroom. I should call their bedroom the snack shack. It’s littered with snack pollution. I don’t think the air quality is humane. EPA should be called in to investigate.
petty peeve
One of my many pet peeves is when my gf runs the dishwasher even though there is a few dishes left in the sink. You couldn’t have jammed a few forks and cups in there. I like when a full load of dishes goes in. Leave no dish left behind. Those dishes feel left out. Put them in the dishwasher. Rearrange a few things. You can make it work out. It’s a petty pet peeve. I realize that. She is doing a chore but she is not doing it my way so I get annoyed by it. It’s probably a control thing. I want to be the Dish King. I want all the dishes to bow down to me and submit their scum.
trial of teen
I hate it when my capable teenage stepdaughters walk past a chore. They will walk pass a mess, a dirty dish, or anything that requires effort. I’m sure I was guilty of it when I was a kid. I never liked doing chores. I despised them. Now that I’m older I’m addicted to putting things away. I’m always staying busy, cleaning the house, or doing something. I can’t sit still. I’m going to start putting every dirty dish they don’t put in the dishwasher on their bed. Anytime a crumb they leave on the couch it’s goes on their bed. They leave a piece of hair on the ground it will be on their bed. The trail of teen will be in their bed. They can sleep with their mess.
brain
My gf will refer to her teenage daughter’s brains as ‘teen brains’ when they don’t make the best decision. It’s a funny way of making fun of your kids for not being smart. I didn’t know ‘teen brain’ was a thing. I’m going to start making fun of my friends by saying they have teen brains. Hey everybody it’s Teen Brain Ted and his teen brain can’t comprehend anyone else but himself. Kids our are future is a good slogan but teens are our future is scary.
doogie howser moment
My blog has turned into what annoys me at my house. What can I be annoyed at? The answer is everything. The thing is I’m going to hate being a empty nester when all my kids move out. I don’t think I’ll have to worry, they’ll all probably live in our house as adults. They’ll haunt me with their debris and pollution. I will never break free of their waste. I won’t have to retire from being Sherlock Holmes. I will be able to live with all my pet peeves. I guess if I played I paid.