new habit i’ve started
waiting to poop at work
my reaction: I’ve been training my butt to poop at work instead of going at home in the morning. I don’t want to use my flush at home. I don’t want to stink up my bathroom. I’ve been working out my butthole. I do a lot of anus holds and planks. I call it butt yoga.
stream it or skip it
No matter if you have a roommate, significant other that you live with, or have a family you eventually will hear everyone’s pee stream in the house. Pee streams gross me out. It doesn’t matter if it’s a soft stream or hard stream. I don’t want to hear pee trickling in the toilet. I don’t mind hearing the sounds of a river, a waterfall, or waves crashing on a beach but I do mind pee streams. Pee streams are not as therapeutic as the sounds of the ocean. I don’t like hearing body fluids come out of people. It makes me cringe especially the end of a pee stream when it slowly trickles out like a leaky faucet. Maybe I can put in a pee pad in the toilet that will silence that force of pee or people in my house can stop drinking so much liquids.
nude trash
I recently changed the garbage naked. I was on my way to shower and realized that I needed to change the garbage. I didn’t want to take out the garbage after I showered because it would defeat the purpose of the shower. I didn’t want to wait until next morning either. I don’t like garbage hanging out in the house all night. I like to have a garbage free house. Anyways, I had no clothing on, tied up the garbage bag, and walked into my garage where the garbage can was. I’m glad the garage door was closed or else I would’ve been exposed. It was liberating to do chores naked. I’m going to start vacuuming naked, doing the dishes naked, and folding laundry naked.
meow barks
While in the living room watching TV I saw a cat on my front porch at my doorstep. I didn’t want the cat near my door so I started barking at the cat. I thought if cats are scared of dogs I’m going to bark at the cat. The cat didn’t budge. My dog barking didn’t work. I must have a weak dog bark. I guess I should’ve added some more rough to my ruff. I bark like a little b*tch. I’m going to meow next time I see a cat. Maybe I’ll scream at the cat. Unless your Garfield, I don’t want you hanging around my house.
shareable stress
I was a single dad for one night. My gf had to go to a training overnight for work and I stayed home with the kids. It makes me nervous being with the kids alone. It overwhelms me at times. I don’t have another responsible adult to help me. I have to be the sole responsible adult. I put pressure on myself. I like to have my partner be home because then I can dump all my stress on her. We are able to share our stress load. I can take half of the stress and she can take the other half. As soon as she came back from her training the next day I dumped a huge pile of stress on her. It’s good to share stress with your partner. It’s healthy.
lamp cramp
During pick up at my son’s school one of the parents stated she had a long day because she was lamp shopping. She apparently spent the whole day lamp shopping. She seemed exhausted. There were a lot of ughs and groans involved when she explained to us the nuisance of lamp shopping. I was confused because I don’t think she works and she has no kids at home. The most difficult part of her day was buying a lamp. A lamp should never cause anyone stress.
doogie howser moment
In conculsuion, I wish buying a lamp was the only thing that caused me stress. However, if a lamp ever did make me stressed, I would give half of it to my gf. There is a way of dealing with stress and for me that’s doing chores naked. It’s freedom. I’m going to start barking at cats naked if I see a cat on my porch again. That’s the plus side of being a single dad, you can do things naked, and you don’t have to listen to people’s pee streams. Maybe my family can hold their pee until they go to school/work so I don’t have to listen to them.