something my two year old keeps doing to me
poking my nipple and laughing
my reaction: One night my two-year-old kept poking my nipple and laughing. I’m not sure what prompted her to do this. She is already body shaming me. She is a body shamer. She is a real life troll. She is making me insecure of my nipples. I thought my nipples were doing just fine, but nope, according to her they’re not.
installing annoyance
My gf just installed white curtains in our living room. We used to have brown wooden blinds. I miss my wooden blinds. Our wooden blinds made our living room look rustic. Now, our white curtains look like I’m in heaven. I don’t want to feel like I’m already dead. It’s too white. I feel like I should be feeding grapes to a Greek God. I’m nervous that people can look through our white curtains and see me. I don’t want people to see me lying on the couch playing with my weird nipples.
1991
My stepdaughters play Varsity basketball for their High School team. They lost their second game of the season 19 to 91. They were down 5-55 at half. It was excruciating to watch. The other team had twins that were 6’3 each. That’s taller than me. Our tallest player is not even 5’8. I don’t even think the team we played was even that good. The team we played is not even known for basketball. I think their town is known for fishing. I was embarrassed to be a fan. I acted like I was with the other team. I would cheer every time the other team would score.
voice of reason
My gf lost her voice over the week. It might be laryngitis. It’s been great for our relationship. I can talk all the sh*t I want and she can’t say anything back. She just has to look at me and frown. Our relationship is booming. We get into no arguments. My confidence is boosting because I’m not getting called out and it’s giving me the false sense of being right. I want this to last for another month. I’m getting scared because her voice is starting to slowly come back. I already feel the tension arise. I got to figure out a way to keep this no voice thing going.
the lone plunger
I did a cold plunge in Lake Michigan on Thanksgiving. I want to start a new tradition of jumping in the lake on Thanksgiving. A lot of people will jump in the lake on New Years Day. They call that the Polar Plunge. I call this new tradition the Pilgrim Plunge. I want to plunge all the pilgrims. Screw the Pilgrims. They weren’t cool people. It was about 27 degrees outside. I brought my kids to watch me plunge alone in the lake. No one else did this tradition but me. It’s the start of a lonely tradition. Can it be a tradition if you’re still alone? I think so.
paws on clause
I watched over four Christmas movies over the weekend. One of them was called Santa Paws. It’s about Santa’s puppies who grant wishes. It’s rated G. It’s a family movie for all ages. Overall, it’s got cheesy acting and B list celebrities if that’s what you want to call them. I noticed that Mrs. Clause was kind of attractive. I mean she was the hottest version of Mrs. Clause I’ve seen. Most people wouldn’t call her hot unless your me. I shouldn’t be watching a G rated movie and think Mrs. Clause is hot, but I do. I miss the old version of Mrs. Clause who just rocked on her chair like a senile geriatric.
doogie howser moment
In summary, the week was good even though my step daughters lost their basketball game by 71 points. I was able to see a hot Mrs. Clause. My gf survived her no talking. We became better because of it. I jumped into a cold lake and overcame a fear of mine. I just miss my old blinds. Overall, I hope my daughter stops poking my nipple because people might see if they look through our window.