something I’m jealous of
kid show problems
my reaction: I’m jealous of kid show problems. I want to have “Sesame Street problems”. There problems are so miniscule compared to real life problems. A children’s show problem is bumping your knee and having an ‘owee’ or calling the color blue “red”. The problems are not even real problems. I want those problems instead of real-life problems like keeping a job or paying my mortgage. Life would be a breeze.
good litter
I often see litter outside my workplace. It’s not the best neighborhood but it’s not the worst. It’s not seedy it’s just a little trashy. Your typical litter consists of empty bottles of Vodka, McDonald’s wrappers, and cigarettes. That’s normal litter that we can all agree on. I recently saw a yogurt container on the side of the street. Who is throwing away yogurt containers out their window? That’s not your normal litter. I feel like people who eat yogurt care about themselves and the world. I didn’t realize healthy people are starting to litter healthy products. It’s like seeing a package of spinach as litter. People are going to start littering salad. All over the world people are going to be tossing salad.
oe
When it’s nice out I will usually eat outside on this little green space between my work building and grocery store. Recently, I’ve noticed a lot more homeless people in my ‘lunch area’. It’s not relaxing to have lunch around a bunch of homeless people sleeping in blankets and drinking Olde English. It was too nice of a day to eat in my office so I ate amongst the peasants. One guy yelled “hey” and I said “hi” back. He asked me if I worked in that building and I said, “yes just trying to enjoy the day out here”. I hope I didn’t sound condescending because he is always outside enjoying the day. He doesn’t have a choice to be indoors. He ended up walking around the green space back and forth in front of me. I’d like to think he was my personal body guard while I ate lunch, but eventually he got tired and passed out in his blanket.
shaking sham
A week ago it was time for Shamrock Shakes at McDonalds. I don’t eat Shamrock Shakes. I don’t think my body could handle it. My gf though had a recipe for a healthy Shamrock Shake. Sometimes comfort food shouldn’t be made healthy. If you’re going to be a health nut then you shouldn’t be able to make comfort food that’s healthy. Our Shamrock Shake was very good. It had frozen bananas, grass fed milk, protien powder, spinach, and real peppermint extract. I think a Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s has diarrehea in it.
shoe peeve
One of my newest pet peeves is people who keep shoes by the front door. It’s not a new pet peeve. It’s just a pet peeve that I’ve been working on. I don’t like when there’s a pile of shoes by the front door. There’s a mound of shoes that I need to hurdle just so I can get to the living room. I’m tripping over Nike, Adidas, and worn out Crocs. I don’t like dirty @ss shoes near the door. Put them in the shoe closet. I should just tell my family about all my pet peeves instead of writing about them every week. I’d probably have no more pet peeves. Sometimes in a fit I just kick all the shoes like a madman until there all spread out over the floor and then walk away. I think to myself “I made my point” until I see a mound of shoes again the next day.
button man
I always need a sense of instant gratification. I love bringing in the garbage cans on garbage day. I love taking out the trash. These are some of the simplest forms of instant gratification. My newest form of instant gratification is turning on the dishwasher. I love filling up a dishwasher, popping in a pod, and turning it on. I feel like I’m responsible for washing all the dishes in the washer even though I have nothing to do with that. I even told my gf “Don’t turn on the dishwasher. I need this.” I need to fill accomplished in case I get an email that said, “what did I do last week?” I can say, “I turned on the dishwasher”.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, instant gratification is where it’s at. I love solving problem if they can be solved instantly. If you got stomach issues trying making a healthy Shamrock Shake. If there is a mound of shoes kick them until there not in your way. Live amongst the homeless don’t shy away from them. And if your going to litter, litter yogurt cups (at least it’s healthy).