something i want to do as a joke
join my school’s PTA
my reaction: I want to join my son’s school PTA (Parent Teacher Assocation) as a joke. I think it’d be funny to act like I’m in charge and make a difference. My first action as PTA member would be bringing back nuts to school. No more nut free zones!
bad sheets
I have a rule whenever I change the bed sheets that I can’t fart in them on the day of the new sheets. I hold the fart in. I don’t want to taint my new sheets. If I really have to fart I will go to the side of the bed, open the sheets, fart, wave it out, wait 15 seconds, and then close the sheets. I don’t want to trap a hot fart in freshly cleaned sheets. It will get ingrained in the new sheets and ruin them forever. This method has been working pretty good for me. However, it’s not working good for my gf. She is basically getting crop dusted.
ai for a guy
I don’t like AI. AI gives dumb people a chance. It’s making dumb people appear to be smart. It’s not making them smart, it’s just making them appear to be smart. If I was smart I would be mad at AI. We are going to have dumb leaders. Correction, we are going to have even dumber leaders. AI is leveling the playing field between smart and dumb if dumb people were smart enough to use AI. Only smart people use AI. The smart will only get smarter and the dumb people will only get dumber.
pooper mario bros
My son always wants me to tell him a story before we go to bed. He likes to hear stories about Mario and Luigi from the Super Mario Brothers. Lately, he has been asking for a funny story. It’s hard to tell a funny story to a 8 year old. Poop is the only thing that makes an 8 year old laugh. All my funny stories involve Mario and Luigi pooping. I’ve told him so many ‘funny’ stories with Mario and Luigi pooping. There’s so much poop in the stories. Too much poop. Massive amounts of poop. Every character is pooping in my story.
toetal chaos
I was at the library and they had a Senior Toe Nail Cutting Clinic going on. I first thought ‘ew’ gross. It’s definitely ew gross. A whole room of old people getting their toe nails clipped. The sound of clipping makes me shutter. I can hardly even write this as we speak. A room full of old gross feet exposed. Could you imagine being the nail clipper? I would vomit all over people’s feet if I was the clipper. I would blow chunks on everyone. It’s making me physically ill just talking about it. But if I make it to 90 years old I’m going to want to take advantage of this service. I will be the first in line to watch someone cut my nails.
dog privilege
I saw a article on the internet that said “10 ways your dog will love you more”. I think dogs love us enough. We don’t need 10 more reasons to make them love us more. They have a house, bed, and are well fed. Most dogs have their own doctors. Dogs have health insurance. What can you possibly give more to dogs? Dogs are soon going to have a 401k and a retirement plan. Are people going to buy their dogs a Tesla? Dogs don’t need anything else. Dogs have way more than humans. Just give a dog a bone and they will be happy. Dogs are soon going to have Iphones. They are going to be on Tik Tok doing selfies.
doogie howser moment
In summary, I don’t know if I’ll join the PTA. It costs $10 to join. I don’t have the credentials. I crop dust my bed room still. I tell my son poop stories before he goes to bed. I should have AI tell him a story. I should outsource my parenthood. In conclusion, if you want a dog to love you, clip it’s toe nails.