it all started when my neighbor asked
“Hey… do you have any glue?”
My reaction: Of course we have glue. We own a house. What kind of homeowner doesn’t have glue?
glue-ten free
My next door neighbor called my gf and asked to borrow some glue. What a strange thing to borrow from a neighbor? My gf agreed because she is a people pleaser. I probably would’ve let him too. Funny thing was I just bought a tube of gorilla glue on the previous day. It’s like he sensed it. He does have a Ring security system which does record audio too. I wonder if heard us talking about it? It’s like he was waiting for us to buy it. It’s seems pretty strange that he would ask us for glue a day after we buy it. God works in mysterious ways.
buy glue for you, bye glue for me
The thing is we live near a Walgreens. It’s 2 blocks away. It’s an easy 5 minute walk. A one minute drive. It’s that simple to buy glue. What did he need that glue for? Why did you need that glue that quick? Did his vibrator break off in his butthole? I never got an answer. It has to be a broken vibrator. I knew my glue was good as gone as soon as she said “yes we have glue you can borrow”. I told my gf “will never see that glue again”. She shrugged it off like it was meaningless. Meaningless to her, meaningful to me.
it’s principal
I’m a little irritated. It’s been a couple of days and no sign of the glue. I specifically drove to the Home Depot that’s a half a mile down the street to buy it. Then, a day later, it’s given away by my gf. It’s principal. I hate people who borrow stuff and don’t return it. You could borrow a toilet paper and I still would want it back. This guy also makes double in salary than me, probably triple what I make. Your telling me you can’t buy your own glue?
man of glue
My neighbor is religious which makes this glue thing more interesting. How do you claim to be a man of God when you don’t give back a man’s glue? The Ten Commandments state ‘thou shall not covet’. Your breaking one of the 10 commandments by coveting my glue. This dude goes to church every week. He once tried to get me to go his church. Well, it looks like you need to go somewhere else because whatever that preacher is preaching ain’t working. Plus, this guy is always grumpy. Why are you always grumpy? What regrets do you have in life? Is it the broken vibrator. Just give me the glue back.
avoiding conflict
At this point, it’s been a week. I keep on pressing my gf to ask for it back. She says she will but I know she won’t. It’s hard to ask for something back when it’s as remedial as glue. You don’t want the other person to know you’ve been thinking about it all this time. It’s tough to be like “ hey you got the glue I borrowed you a few weeks ago”. I don’t want to look like a chump. I don’t want to look petty. Every time I saw him pull up in his driveway I was enthralled with rage as I think of the glue he essentially stole from me. Life goes on?
maybe I got it all wrong
Now, it’s been 2 weeks. It’s getting ridiculous. At this point I’m fuming. I had the opportunity to confront him about the glue, but I didn’t. I folded under pressure. We made small talk about the weather but deep down inside I was thinking “give me the god d@mn glue back you thief!” I did forgot to mention that he give my gf $5 for borrowing the glue. Now I’m thinking, did my gf sell the glue to him unknowingly? Did we really sell glue to him? That can’t be right. That sounds absurd. What neighbor buys another neighbor’s glue?
pulling back the curtains
Michael Doleac was selected 12th overall in the 1998 NBA draft by the Orlando Magic. The highlight of his career was in 2005-2006, when he won an NBA title with the Miami Heat as the team’s backup center behind the Hall of Famer, Shaquille O’Neal. Doleac retired after a 10-year NBA career after the 2007–2008 NBA season. After retirement, Doleac returned to the University of Utah and received his Masters in Physics. Physics blows my mind, kinda like a neighbor that borrows glue and never gives it back.
doogie howser moment
You might think this is the dumbest story you’ve ever heard but we’re not talking about your run of the mill glue here, we’re talking Gorilla glue here. It wasn’t Elmers. It was top of the line glue. Yeah he gave us $5 but the glue was $6. It doesn’t add up. I’m not mad about the $1 difference. I’m mad that I never confronted him. I tend to avoid conflict. I had the opportunity to bring it up and I didn’t. In the end, I wish I gave him a glue stick instead.