a window decal I saw on a car as I drove by
“Baby up in this b*tch”
health rubs
my reaction: While driving to the beach on Sunday I passed a car with a window decal that said “Baby up in this B*tch”. It was a spoof of the “Baby on Board” yellow decal that newly parents would stick on their windows. This lady didn’t have just one of these “baby up in this b*tch” stickers, she had 4. She wanted everyone to know she had a baby up in this b. I want to know her thought process on that purchase. I guess it could’ve been custom made. I couldn’t tell if there was a baby car seat in the back, so I began to wonder, did she mean she had a baby in her womb? Was she the “b*tch” in this sign? Was a baby literally up in this b*tch? That would be an interesting twist to the decal.
tummy rubs
I’m always trying to find out new ways to reduce stress at work. I’ve tried meditating, walking, and yoga during break times but it hasn’t helped that much. Since I haven’t had much success with these coping skills, I’ve started to do tummy rubs while at work to reduce stress. I find this to be more effective. There’s something about my tummy getting rubbed in a circular motion that gives me a sense of calmness. I’ve been rubbing my tummy every chance I get at work. I could be at my desk rubbing myself, in the bathroom rubbing myself, or walking down the hallway rubbing myself. I’m a little worried that someone might catch me rubbing my tummy. It doesn’t look right to see someone rubbing their tummy at work but I do it for mental health. I want a healthy mind, spirit, and tummy. I rub myself in the name of mental health.
edible etiquette
I have a lot of friends who don’t like to smoke marijuana but rather do edibles instead. I understand. I get it. You don’t want to inhale the smoke because it could damage your lungs, but your taking a big leap in the world of drugs. You need to take baby steps before doing edibles. You can’t jump into them with no prior drug usage. Edibles is a complete body buzz. It’s like going from riding a bicycle to thinking you can fly a plane. Don’t do it. You need the proper training before doing edibles. Get out of the cockpit and back on the bike. Put the training wheels back on. The stigma of edibles is far less than that of actual pot. No one considers edibles “pot”, they look at it as candy. It’s got an innocent look to it but it packs a way more intense high. It’s like skipping all the easy rides at Great America and going right to hardest one with no prior roller coaster experience. Good luck.
squirrel pancake
While sitting on my back porch I realized a smell and a bunch of flies. I thought nothing of it. I told my gf hours later and she assumed it was a dead animal. She did some investigation and sure enough found a dead animal. I assumed since she found it she was going to get rid of it but that wasn’t the case. I ended up having to dispose of this dead animal that was sitting next to our porch. I’m a city boy, I don’t do well with dead animals. I screamed the entire time while I shoveled this dead squirrel into a bag all the while my son and gf watched. I was disgusted by the weight, smell, and look of this dead squirrel. I wanted to vomit. My son must’ve thought what a baby I was. Hopefully, this isn’t one of those traumatic moments for him.
sick bed
I was sick over the weekend. The best part of being sick is when your mom makes a bed for you on the couch. It’s full of blankets, a pillow, and a place to eat your food. I asked my gf to make me a ‘sick bed’ on the couch. She didn’t. I had to make my own. It’s okay. She was busy with other things. I made the best sick bed in the world. It’s pretty simple. Here is my recipe. You put one layer of blanket on the bottom of the couch, a pillow from your bed, and a fleece blanket for covering. You don’t need a sheet. Sheets don’t provide warmth like fleece blankets do. That’s my recipe for a homemade couch sick bed.
candy cough drops
The second best thing about being sick is cough drops. I love sucking on coughing drops. I suck them so hard. They taste so good. I don’t eat candy so that’s like candy to me. I almost fell asleep with a cough drop in my mouth. I could have choked to death on a cough drop. Luckily, I felt it in my jaw before I fell asleep and crunched it away. I don’t know if cough drops really work. I feel like you can suck on anything. It seems like it’s more like a distraction. Suck on this and forget you have a cough.
pulling back the curtains
Milt was a 6-foot-7, 230-pound center gaining fame for his ability to defend top-ranked player George Mikan of DePaul University. A 6 foot 7 Center would not exist these days. Schoon then played professionally in the BAA, NBL, NBA, and NPBL as a member of the Anderson Packers, Detroit Falcons, Flint Dow Chemicals, Sheboygan Redskins and Denver Refiners. He played for a team called the Dow Chemicals? Ayi Ayi. The creativity back then was something to be desired.
doogie howser moment
I feel like all my blogs have a common theme. They all revolve around my insecurities as a man. I know I’m not the toughest guy out and nor do I claim to be. I mean what kinda man does tummy rubs at work? Me. I’m the guy that makes his own sick bed on the couch and thinks cough drops are candy. Once again, I’m no alpha, I’m scared to shovel a dead squirrel in a garbage can. It was dead. There was no way it could hurt me because it’s dead. I guess I’m the ‘baby up in this b*tch’.