intro
I’m starting a vegan rock band. We are going to do covers of Foo Fighter songs. We are going to be called the To Fu Fighters.
new heights
I went rock climbing for the first time in years. I ended up being nauseous. I have a mild case of being scared of heights but I conquered a few of my fears. It was a growth experience. I was starting to get cocky like this is easy. It’s a piece of cake. No sweat. Then I realized I was doing all the easy routes on the wall. I don’t know if they had a kid section but it seemed like I was in it. I did the climbing wall that all the kids were doing. It was me and a bunch of kids from a 7 year olds birthday party doing the easy wall while there moms watched. I hope those moms were proud of me.
it ain’t easy being green
I went out for St. Patrick’s Day for a few hours. I don’t drink so it’s hard to celebrate something that’s based on drinking all day. I met a few of my buddies out at 4:00 pm. I told them my time slot was from 4-6 and I told my gf I’d be home by 7. I built in an hour of buffer of time because I wanted to be alone. The only reason I wanted to go out was to see people get sloppy drunk. It was a fail. I didn’t see people slurring their words, puking their guts out, or crying about how their boyfriend doesn’t love them. I was upset. It was Friday night on St. Patrick’s Day and there was all of these responsible drinkers. This generation has gotten soft. I would’ve puked, cried, and pissed my pants by 4pm. I would’ve passed out by 5:00 pm. I would’ve woken up with green vomit on me by 6:00 pm. It ain’t easy being green.
spread the bottom
I’ve never hit rock bottom. I’ve talked about wanting to hit rock bottom but I never have. I’ve actually spread out my rock bottom strategically. I’ve never gone all the way in. I’ve never gone that deep. Cumulatively you could say I’ve hit rock bottom. If you added all the times I’ve felt “eh’ then yes I’ve hit rock bottom. I like to do things in moderation. We’ve been told all our whole lives that it’s okay as long as it’s in moderation. That’s exactly what I’ve done with my rock bottomness. I’ve kept it in moderation and it’s worked. I’ve diversified my mental health and spread it out over the year.
there he is
I miss being in college when your friends would see you at a party and be like “there he is”. You would walk into a party and say, “There he is”. I don’t get that anymore. It get “hi”, “hey”, or “eh”.It would be funny if my kids started saying that when I got home from work. I’d walk in the door and my son would say, “there he is”. We would pound juice boxes and crush them over our heads. We’d run around the house screaming at the top of our lungs. Then we’d pass out watching cartoons around 8:00 pm and then do it again the next day.
gross-ery store
I wen to the grocery store to buy coffee for my gf. As my cashier was scanning the coffee bag, she stopped and smelled my bag of coffee beans. She held it for a little too long. What made things worse was that she was sweating. Not just a little bit but a lot. She was sweating profusely. She had beads of sweat on her like no other. I didn’t want to look at her greasy forehead and draw attention to it. I ignored it. How could she not know she was sweating that much? I thought it was make up at first but her forehead was glistening with human sweat. Mind you, it’s not summer time. It’s winter. How do you tell the cashier not to smell your coffee beans while she is sweating? You don’t. You just let it happen. I can’t say, “Excuse me. Do you mind NOT smelling my beans while your dripping sweat?” I could but that would make for an awkward transaction. I don’t drink coffee but that’s beside the point. It was for my gf. Now her Brazilian blend is going to be sweet and extra salty.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I went out on Saint Patrick’s Day to see people hit rock bottom but everyone was responsible. I wanted to hear college bros say “there he is” but they didn’t. I was upset but not as upset as seeing my sweaty cashier sniffing my groceries. Maybe that’s why I went rock climbing? I wanted to see climbers hit rock bottom. You see people climb to the top then go right back down. It’s like life, up and down. I think my made up vegan rock band the To Fu Fighters is going to hit rock bottom.