a phrase people say to make a point
“It’s (insert current year) for crying out loud”
my reaction: You know how people will state the year as an argument on why things in society should be better. They will say, “Come on, it’s 2023 for crying out loud” like it’s the year all the problems in the world will be solved. I wonder if people in the 1800s were like “It’s 1882 for crying out loud…we should be driving cars by now. I’m sick of horse and wagon. Why isn’t the internet invented yet?”.
throw what
I love throwing a ball to my toddler because she can’t catch. I love watching it hit her. It’s funny watching someone just stand there while they get hit by something and can’t do anything about it. All they do is just blink and let the ball hit them. They make no attempt at trying to catch the ball. They don’t have any hand eye coordination yet. This is not abuse, it’s a teachable moment. If you’re a parent or not a parent throw a ball at a toddler and let the laughs begin.
camouflage blankie
Over the weekend I heard a loud noise in the middle of the night while I was sleeping. My first thought was that it was a robber. I thought “I’m done, this is it, I had a good run”. As a defense mechanism, I lied in bed as a flat as I could so the potential intruder wouldn’t notice me. I’m like a chameleon when a threat occurs. I try to blend into my natural habitat. My goal was to camouflage myself as a blanket. I wanted to look like a throw blanket. I flattened myself like a pancake. I sucked my stomach in. I laid still as possible. Well there was never an intruder in my home. I’m not sure what the loud noise was but it was good practice blending into my bed for next time.
couch ref
I can’t watch basketball on TV with my gf anymore. She will call all the fouls that occur during a game. She’s one of those people who will say “foul” every time an infraction occurs but is not called. Every minute she is like ‘foul’, ‘that’s a foul’, or ‘why isn’t that a foul?’. I get it. You have knowledge of the game of basketball. I told her she should be a ref. With all the calls she is making she would make a good referee. I’m going to get her a whistle and referee shirt so she can ref the games from her couch.
card season
I love getting Christmas cards from friends and families. It’s my favorite thing of the holiday. I got a few Christmas cards last week and was so happy to open them. It’s better than getting real presents. I get real excited. I rate every Christmas card I get. I will put them on my kitchen table from first to worst. I will have different categories such as most original, funniest, most un original, and best overall. My favorites are when dogs make the Christmas card. I like when the dog “signs” the card too. It will say “Happy Holidays from Mike, Jane, Kelly, John, and Spot”. Sometimes the dog has a more human name than the actual kid. A dog is named Jackson and the kid is named Blade or something like that. Everything is backwards.
window people
Cat people creep me out. I should say cat people in my neighborhood creep me out. I know some great cat people and I don’t want them to be pigeonholed in this group. All the people who have cats on my block are weird. I don’t know if I’m more weirded out by cat people or cats. Every time I’m looking out the window the next door neighbor’s cat is staring at me through it’s window. It’s so creepy. Get a life. Get 9 lives while you’re at it. I think having a cat rubs off on its owners. They say you’re the sum of the people you hang out with and if you hang out with a cat all day you’re probably going to be staring out the window.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I love playing catch with my toddler. It’s one of my all time favorite activities to do with my kid. It’s a real bonding experience even though my gf says “that’s a foul” on my part because my daughter can’t catch. Keep the holiday cards coming. The more the merrier. Rating holiday cards, staring at cats, and hiding under blankets is what I do. Happy holidays from me and my AI dog, after all it’s 2023!