overheard in a conversation I was in
“you poisoned me”- my gf to me after I gave her what I thought was a regular CBD gummy
my reaction: I gave my gf a CBD edible which I assumed was harmless. All the time I’ve taken CBD it hasn’t done much, but this CBD was different, because it wasn’t CBD. It actually mentioned nothing about containing CBD. It contained Delta 8 THC which is similar to the Delta 9 THC in weed but less strong. The Delta 8 THC is legal. The Delta 9 THC is not. THC is what makes you high. I feel like THC is THC. With that being said, I gave her 30 mg of THC (3 times the recommended dose of a typical edible) on Tuesday night because she had a migraine. She ended up falling asleep at 7 and had to take off work the next day because she was dizzy and nauseous. For about 2 days we thought she had Covid, when in reality it was the gummies I bought from the internet. I should’ve read the fine print before I gave her one, “This is not approved by the FDA”.
mouth cigs
I always see the same guy begging for money at this one particular intersection. He does his usual routine by walking through the cars… tapping on the windows…asking for change. But this time was different. He noticed that one of the drivers was smoking a cigarette. So… he asked for a cigarette. The lady obliged. But he wanted it lit. So she obliged again by lighting the cigarette in her mouth and giving it to him. I shouldn’t be surprised because I’ve seen this same guy pick up cig butts off the ground and smoke them. But they might’ve as well just made out. I don’t think getting sick is a top priority when your begging for money. This is a case of taking Random Acts of Kindness a little too far.
think before you sink
There is this one guy who works in the same building as I do who makes me feel uncomfortable. He looks like a guy who is does odd things consistently. He just has that feel of someone who is weird. I don’t want to pre judge him but he is strange. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but in this case I don’t doubt. You know he is innocent until proven creepy. This dude walks in the bathroom while I’m using the urinal and starts to wash his mouth in the sink. His head is literally in the sink as he is cupping water from the faucet and rinsing his mouth out. He knows I’m in the bathroom. He doesn’t try to hide the fact of giving himself a ‘sink face shower’. I mean his face and moustache are full of water from having his head knee deep in the sink. It looked like he was a dog drinking out of a public drinking fountain. Then he was done, looked at me with his wet blotchy face, and left. No mask. No pride. No humility. Just a guy washing his face in the sink at work.
don’t dew it
The intern who sits next to me in our shared office space cracked open a Diet Mountain Dew before 8am. You know Mountain Dew is the Breakfast of champions. The most important meal of the day and she drinks a diet dew. This is nothing better than starting off the day with a Diet Mountain Dew. A soda should be a treat not a breakfast. I had a friend who worked for Coca Cola and he stated that Mountain Dew is the most bought soda in Wisconsin. Wisconsin is not only known for consumption of cheese, beer, and brats, it’s also known for consuming other horrible items such as Mountain Dew. If you drink Mountain Dew your a dewsh… a mountain dewsh.
goodwill land
I love Goodwill so much that I signed up for their rewards program. It’s true. Goodwill has a rewards program. I don’t think they need a rewards program to increase consumer loyalty. There customers could care less. I usually take my son there so he can play with all the toys. It’s a free ‘playground’. On this particular visit we played with the toys for an hour. I could see the Goodwill associates getting a little perturbed. While he was playing I decided to look at the DVD section. I started to recognize a lot of the same DVDs throughout the shelf. I ended up organizing the DVDs by name. I came across 7 Old School DVDs, 5 Wedding Crashers, and 3 Accepted DVDS. According to this particular Goodwill, Old School is the worst movie as it has been donated the most. Will Ferrell, Owen Wilson, and Vince Vaughn are no longer relevant according to Goodwill. Sorry guys, goodwill has spoken.
the hot seat
For some odd reason the water in my toilet is heated. It feels like I have a hot tub in my toilet. I have my own personal @ss sauna. Obviously, there is something wrong with the plumbing. But I’ve grown to like this feature. It’s like a heated seat in your car that works intermittently. It’s like one of those plug in furnaces that you have in your living room in which the family gathers around to stay warm. Now, I just tell the kids to go to my toilet to warm up. Just kidding. But every time I leave my bathroom I tell my gf, “look at my hot @ss”.
pulling back the curtains
Pervis Ellison was nicknamed “Never Nervous Pervis” while in college at Louisville under coach Denny Crum. I know I’m talking about Pervis Ellison but Denny Crum. What a crummy name? Your named after a subpar restaurant franchise. Pervis Ellison was drafted by the Sacramento Kings in 1989 with the overall pick. In the NBA, Danny Ainge gave him the nickname “Out of Service Pervis” because of the many injuries he would sustain during his career. In 91-92 Season he became the most improved player by after averaging 20.0 points, 11.4 rebounds and 2.68 blocks per game. The best game of Ellison’s NBA career occurred on January 31, 1992, when he recorded 19 points, 19 rebounds, 6 assists, 5 blocked shots and 2 steals against the Knicks.
doogie howser moment
Don’t under any circumstance give your partner what you think are CBD gummies not approved by the FDA. Don’t let them drink FDA approved things either like Diet Mountain Dew. Commit random acts of kindness and light cigarettes for strangers. If your toilet water is hot, keep it that way, hot butts are fun. Finally, stay away from people who wash their faces in sinks at work.