overheard at Home Depot
“you can’t run a company with a bunch of idiots”– guy on phone
My reaction: Best dumb advice I’ve ever heard. It’s a true statement but doesn’t need to be said. We all know you can’t run a company with “a bunch of idiots”. I love this guy for saying this near me so I could hear it. That’s going to be my company statement if I ever start a company. Notice how he said a “bunch of idiots” not a ‘few idiots”. You can still run a company with a few idiots.
radar pro
We have been getting a lot of rain lately in our area. I don’t mind it. It means I don’t have to water my garden. The only thing I hate about rain is when people show me the radar on their phone. They act like they are meteorologists. They show me the doppler like I have no clue how to read it. They point to the rain which is green, yellow, and red. Not sure why its any of those colors. Last time I checked rain is clear. They say, “here we are and here is this blanket of green that will hit us”. Thank you for explaining to me how the radar worked. I am now confident I can read a radar. They make the radar seem like we are all getting infected with slime or radiation when in fact it’s just water drops.
the crow
While in middle school after riding my bike from a friend’s house I was attacked by a crow. I never thought a bird would attack me. I got bullied by a bird. It picked at my head with it’s beak a few times, so I swatted it away. I think it saw my hair and thought it was a nest? Maybe it thought I was another crow because I had long black hair that resembled a crow. When I think of a traumatic childhood moment this comes up. Not my parent’s divorce or anything else that could be categorized as traumatic but being attacked by a crow. I’m deftly scared of birds. Anytime a bird flies over my head I put my hands over my head. Sometimes I will even run. I don’t want to get attacked by another bird.
zzzz pain
You ever injure yourself sleeping? I have. I somehow threw my back out sleeping. How is that possible? I wasn’t lifting weights, doing physical labor, or any of the such. I was sleeping like a little angel. It ruined my entire weekend. I could hardly walk and breathe. I’m scared to go to sleep now. I might go to a sleep and wake up with a broken leg next time. I might dislocate a shoulder. Sleeping is supposed to be the most peaceful and rejuvenating thing a human can do, and now I’m scared I’m going to sprain an ankle.
beerents
I like when I talk to parents who complain or vent about kids who act up while they are drinking. Your are drinking. Don’t you see a correlation here? “Yep… my kid has no discipline, no coping skills, or anything. Hey…do you mind grabbing me another beer?”.
chef casserole
I’ve heard more and more people say, “We don’t go out…we cook at home… why go out if we can make it better.” I don’t buy it. Lies! Your not better than a seasoned chef at a Michelin rated restaurant whose been cooking for 20 years. You can’t have your own cooking show on the Food Network. You might be able to be a better cook than a fast food joint, a stadium, or a hot dog cart but not fine dining. Sorry but your casserole is not to die for.
pulling back the curtains
In 14 NBA seasons, Rodman played in 911 games, scored 6,683 points, and grabbed 11,954 rebounds, translating to 7.3 points and 13.1 rebounds per game in only 31.7 minutes played per game. Rodman has many brothers and sisters: according to his father, he has either 26 or 28 siblings on his father’s side. However, Rodman has stated that he is the oldest of a total of 47 children. He also led the NBA in rebounds per game for a record seven consecutive years and won five NBA championships. Rodman experienced an unhappy childhood and was shy and introverted in his early years. After aborting a suicide attempt in 1993, he reinvented himself as a “bad boy” and became notorious for numerous controversial antics. Rodman’s mother gave him the nickname “The Worm” for how he wiggles while playing pinball
doogie howser moment
I must’ve had a good childhood if the most traumatic thing that happened to me was being attacked by a crow. Now, the most traumatic thing for me is getting hurt while falling asleep. Falling asleep is tough if you can’t shut off your thoughts. I’ll be up thinking about how my friends say they can cook better than chefs. Or I’ll think about how their complaining about their kids while drinking and showing me how a radar works. Either way it doesn’t matter. This blog was kinda all over the place which makes me think “do a bunch of idiots work here?”