overheard in a conversation I was in
“our principal slept with one of the teachers”- 7th grade step daughter
my reaction: My step daughter was telling me that one day her middle school principal was all of suddenly gone. She later found out he had slept with one of the teachers. By the way he’s married and has 3 kids. I decided to dig deeper, so I looked up his court records online. Of course I looked it up online, I didn’t go to the library, I’m not Sherlock Holmes. I ended up finding out he has been previously divorced and has a DUI. The drunk cheating principal paving the way for our kids future. Yeah!
follow me
I saw a Cheetos truck that had a sign on the side saying “Follow us to a great career”. You want me to follow you? That’s being a voyeur. Are you sure it’s great? It’s chips. People always say chips are good, not great. It usually goes.. “How’s that chip?… “Um good”. It’s never… “best thing I had all day…there great!”. Chips are just good. They will always be good no matter how great they are.
fast app
Remember applications to fast food places used to be 3 pages long? It was as tedious as filling out a college application. You had to give your education history, put down references, and write an essay on why you would be a good fit working the fry line at Burger King. Now it’s barely half a page. All you have to do is write your name and address. If you can just fill that out correctly you got the job. There’s no longer interviews. No more background checks. You just show up and your hired.
we’re all guys here
I like the phrase “we’re all guys here”. It basically allows men to be raunchy perverted humans. It also doesn’t give men much credit as a gender. It shows how remedial we are. A guy will fart or say something sexist then say, “We’re all guys here.” “Hey… listen to me rip this one out? Don’t worry we’re all guys here.” Do you think kids say, “we’re all kids here” after they say something immature? I don’t think so. It’s a guy thing. I don’t think dinosaurs say, “we’re all dinos here” after a dinosaur farts. Why? Because they’re all dead.
military disco
I was at Home Depot and I saw a sign that stated active military get discount. Not inactive military. Sorry guys, you need to be active. But if you were active wouldn’t you be overseas? I don’t think senior citizens should get same discount as active military. Not fair. Just because your old doesn’t mean you should get same discount as someone who fought in a war. Furthermore, if you were the laundry guy in military you shouldn’t get military discount either. I’m just really jealous of people getting discounts.
greetos
I like Greeters at Walmart. Half the time I’m never greeted. That’s your only job. All you have to do is say hi. Just greet. Most of the time they stare. That’s usually the young generation of greeters. They just stare. The old greeters greet everyone. They are just so happy they have someone to talk to “hi..hello..welcome to the store.” They will have a full conversation with you, “back in my day” “excuse me ma’am…I’m just trying to buy socks.”
pulling back the curtains
Tacko Fall went undrafted in the 2019 NBA draft, but later signed with the Boston Celtics. His shoe size is 22. He is 7ft 6 inches. Fall is a Muslim, and selected the jersey number 99 with the Celtics as a reference to the 99 Names of Allah. He is not the only tall member of his family; his younger brother was reportedly 5 ft 9 in at age 7.
doogie howser moment
The drunk cheating principal should consider a new career with Cheetos or being a greeter at Walmart. But he’d probably sleep with the other Cheetos vendors and Wal Mart greeters thus losing those jobs too. I’m sure he was like we’re all guys here while talking about cheating on his wife. I guess he might have to apply to Burger King. At least the application will be easy. I’m just glad that that the cheating drunk principal wasn’t part of the military so he won’t be able to get a discount at Home Depot. He’s definitely going to need a discount after the home he broke.