a horrible idea for a protein shake
Slim Slow
reaction: We’ve all heard of Slim Fast which is a meal replacement shake sold in packs of 4. I’m not sure how it’s working. I don’t think Slim Fast is working as fast it should. Why do you need buy packs of it if it works so “fast”? If it worked so fast you wouldn’t need but one Slim Fast.
40
I just turned 40. Well, I’m hoping I turn 40. As of writing this I’m still 39. There’s a chance that I might die before this blog comes out. So, if you’re reading this it means I’m 40. I can’t believe I’m 40. I can’t believe my body parts are 40 years old. My fingers are 40, my legs are 40, my balls are 40. Every body part is 40 years plus. My skin is 40, my brain is 40. It’s all 40. I’ve seen things that are 40 years old that look like crap like rusty cars, degraded houses, and dirty toilets. If you don’t take care of up your body you will end up looking like any of the things I just mentioned.
bun man
I have a man bun. This is my second time with a man bun. Having a man bun for the second time is like getting food poisoning from Applebee’s and then going back to that same Applebee’s a year later thinking it’s going to be better. Let’s just say I came out of man bun retirement. If Michael Jordan retired with the Chicago Bulls then came back to play the game he loved a year later, then I can come back with a played out hairstyle for teens.
no mo fomo
As a young person in my 20s I used to itch to get out of the house. I couldn’t wait to leave the house. I wanted to be at every festival and party. Now, that I’m older I could care less. I love staying in. I’m not trying to leave a place where people love me. They want me to stay. I feel comfortable, at ease, and relaxed. Why would I leave my house to be with strangers? I’ll just be annoyed and irritated. Strangers don’t love me. They are equally annoyed with me. They’ll probably make fun of me.
avril aspirations
I told my gf I want our 2 week year old daughter to grow up to be Avril Lavigne. I know she is just a baby and I shouldn’t be putting that much pressure on her to be a global phenomenon but I meant it in good faith. My gf stated, “you know she defied her parents as a teen and ran away to do music.” And? What’s wrong with that? She became a successful artist who didn’t sexualize herself to make it in the music biz. I could care less if she became a pop star and sold millions of records. I only wanted her to be Avril because of the lyrics in one of her songs, “He was a skater boy. She said, “See you later, boy” which I’m grossly taking out of context.
doogie howser moment
If anyone should be the spokesperson for Slim Fast it should be Avril Lavigne. She could also be the spokesperson for my new product Slim Slow. I’m glad I like being a introvert and no longer having fomo. It’s a good way of hiding my man bun to the general public. I don’t care if I turn 40 because I plan to live to 120. If that holds true I’m actually in my quarter life crisis.