#113 “sorry ms. Jackson”

something to ponder

Do you think parents who name their kid “Jackson” named them after Micheal Jackson?

reaction: I hope not.

reaction to my reaction: I seriously hope not.

piece

It’s cool we live in an age where we can identify as anything. It’s true. You can be whatever you want just like your parents told you. With that in mind, I think I’m going to change my identity. I’m going to start to identify as a Piece of Sh*t. Yep, a piece of sh*t. I’m not going to be a poop emoji. Poop emojis aren’t pieces of sh*t, they are too cute. Poop is not cute. Poop shouldn’t be cute. Stop making poop cute emoji people! Anyways, please refer to me as a piece of sh*t so that everytime you see me you can say, “there goes that piece of sh*t”. Don’t think you aren’t a piece of sh*t either because we all are pieces of sh*t. Everyone has been a piece of sh*t at one point of their lives. Maybe you aren’t currently but you were or will be a piece of sh*t. There is nothing wrong with being a piece of sh*t, it’s just a piece, not a quarter, half, or whole piece of sh*t, just a piece. It doesn’t matter if it’s medium or large, it’s just a piece.

surprise

Netflix has a surprise me button in case you don’t know what to watch. The Surprise button will literally pick a show for you. If you don’t know what to watch maybe you should read a book, knit a blanket, or build a bird nest. Has anyone hit the surprise button and actually watched what they surprised you with? That would make a good TV show. Just have people get high and watch what the surprise button gives them. “Honey….I want to live life on the edge tonight….hit the surprise button.” The surprise button should really just turn off your TV.

minivan gross

There is nothing grosser than sitting in the backseat of someone else’s minivan. It’s a war zone of kid germs. All the seats are sticky, crumbs are littered on the floor, and there’s fingerprints on the windows. I don’t wish for anyone to sit in someone else’s minivan especially if they have a baby, infant, or toddler. I’d rather someone have to spend an eternity in hell than sit in a minivan. It smells like a baby just puked but they tried covering it up with baby powder and wipes. I know your thinking “why are you in the backseat Curt?”. Good question.

worker shortage

Everyone is talking about how there is a shortage of workers. Is there though or is that just the media? I just think there are too many businesses. There are too many stores. We don’t need a store every block. There’s too many undesirable places to work like fast food restaurants and retail stores that no one wants to work at. We don’t need all these options. There’s not enough crappy people to do crappy labor.

doogie howser moment

If you get to work from home and complain your a piece of sh*t. If you make your friend sit in the back seat of their minivan your a piece of sh*t. If you hit the surprise button on Netflix your a piece of sh*t. Lastly, if you named your kid Jackson your a piece of sh*t. Remember, we’re all pieces of sh*t. We just have to learn how to coexist in the same toilet.