intro
You ever see an extremely lonely happy person?
my reaction: No. I’ve never seen a lonely happy person say, “this is so awesome…. being lonely is the best thing that happened to me… I love my lonely life.. I’m full of energy.” Actually, I have. I have a family. I love being a loner. I want to be a lonely happy person (for 5 minutes of the day).
key word “try”
I’m trying to have as much sex as possible before I look old and decrypted. I keep telling my gf that we need to take advantage of our looks before we are ugly, have wrinkled faces, stretch marks, and hair coming out of every orifice. We are getting there. We are almost to the point of no return. We are not going to want to do each other’s bodies that are slowly dying. We might break a bone, have a heart attack, or put each other in ICU from our senior citizen sex.
buzzed light year
There’s an ad on TV that says “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving”. If that’s true then I’ve driven drunk hundreds of times in my life. I should be in jail then. I should’ve lost my license a long time ago according to this saying. I used to get buzzed after one beer. Hell… I get buzzed after drinking a Kombucha. I’m a certified drunk driver. I hope a cop doesn’t read this.
skip the ad
You know how there is a skip the ad button on YouTube? I wish I could skip some conversations with annoying co workers. I wish something would pop up and say “Skip this person in 5 seconds.”. I’d skip every future annoying interaction. Just skip every one I come in contact if I’m having a bad day. Skip the person. Conversations with the same people are just like watching ads they are annoying because you know what’s going to happen. It’s the same thing over and over again. It’s like when you ask people “how’s it going?” and they respond “It’s Monday”.
approval ratings
Remember when you would date someone for the first time and your friends would say, “we approve of her.” Instead of saying “we like her” or “she is nice” they would say “we approve”. Thank you for the approval. I’m glad you approved it. What would I do without your approval? I guess it’s a nice gesture but do you need there approval? I’ve never approved my friend’s relationship. I don’t think someone would break up with there significant other if I said, “I disapproved”. I don’t have that much influence.
ice cream anti social
My work had a ice cream social event last week. I didn’t attend. I don’t want people to watch me eat ice cream. I’d rather eat ice cream alone. Plus, the ice cream social was at 3pm. I don’t eat ice cream that early. I prefer to eat it at night. The real reason I didn’t go was that I don’t eat ice cream at all. It would be strange if I went to the ice cream social and didn’t eat ice cream. I would just be watching people eat ice cream. I would get canceled at work for not eating ice cream and making people feel uncomfortable.
doogie howser moment
Never stop trying. Never give up. The only thing you should give up in this blog is buzzed driving because buzzed driving is drunk driving. I think this blog has ads, so don’t skip the ad, skip the people that annoy you. Skip the people at ice cream socials. I can’t stand watching people eat ice cream. It disgusts me. I hope you approve this blog. Please approve me. I need approval. Don’t skip me.