something I ponder
Why doesn’t the gingerbread man have red hair?
give me storm
When the media says there’s going to be a huge snowstorm I want it to happen. I love a good snowstorm. I love blizzards. I like when the norm is disrupted. Also, if you spend days talking about a snowstorm and how it’s going to disrupt society then make sure it happens. If I don’t get that then I get angry. If you promise me 6 inches of snow you better give me 6 inches. Anything less then that and I’m not pleased. A measly 1 to 3 inches will not make me happy. It only disappoints.
casual reservations
I did something I’ve never done in my life, I made reservations at a steakhouse. The person taking my call asked if it was for a special occasion and I said, “no.. just casual” like I do this weekly. No just casual like I’m a big baller. Just a casual night of eating $70 steak because that sums up a casual night to me. I thought we were going to a fine dining place since I had to make reservations but as soon as we arrived we saw a lady in jean shorts. I forgot to tell you it was also 19 degrees outside. This lady was wearing jean shorts in the middle of a cold winter day. I should’ve gotten a discount on my meal because there was a lady in jean shorts. This lady took casual to a whole new level.
green love
What they don’t tell you about weed is that it makes you love your family. It’s true. I’ve never been mad at my family while on pot but sober I have. On sober I get mad and yell at my kids. On sober I want to leave the house and not come back. Having a family is tough to do while on sober. On weed I don’t get mad, I want to laugh at them. I want to eat snacks with them. All my stress of raising kids goes away. I have no stress because I forget the kids are even mine on weed.
spelling bee
I spell out words in front of my step daughters so they won’t know what I’m saying. A lot of parents do this in front of there children when they don’t want their kids to know what they are talking about. They will say, “Don’t let the kids know about the c-a-n-d-y.” I do the same thing at my house but I talk about different things. I’ll be talking to my gf in the kitchen in front of the kids and say, “I put new batteries in your v-i-b-r-a-t-o-r. It should work again. Have fun with your v-i-b-r-a-t-o-r. It’s like new.” The kids will overhear and say, “We can spell curt. We’re in high school.” I’ll be like “o-h”.
my last resort
I want to live in a ski town but the thing is I don’t ski. I don’t want to learn to ski either. I like the idea of living in a small town on the side of a mountain. I like the amenities of a small town. The local bar, mom and pop shops, and the one good restaurant. It’s picturesque. The snow covered trees, log cabins, and flannel (lots of flannel). I love wearing flannel. Everyone looks cozy. Cozy is the best feeling. I just want to be cozy. Every holiday rom com movie involves a couple at a resort in a small town being cozy. Being cozy in flannel is living my best life.
doogie howser moment
I’d like to make a disclaimer, I don’t get high in front of my kids, I wait until there asleep. However I should do it when they are awake as it would be double the entertainment. I know I don’t need to smoke at all because I can handle the stressors of life without it. Honestly, I act like a stoner even when I don’t smoke because I’m spelling out words in front of my teen daughters, I get the sober munchies for steak, and the fact that I want to live in a ski town even though I don’t like skiing. I sound like I’m high all day but I’m not. I mean what kind of person wants a snowstorm.