overheard a guy on the phone in a bathroom stall
You need to change your mentality because right now everything is an option to you when it shouldn’t be.
my reaction: I overheard this guy in the Target bathroom while he was in the stall give life advice to the person he was talking to on the phone. He was like a motivational speaker. This guy was so inspirational and convincing that I prolonged my pee in the bathroom just to hear it.
the drop
I was at Home Depot to do some shopping and for some reason I always need to use the bathroom. It happens every time I pass the toilet aisle. I see a brand new toilet for sale and it inspires my bowels. As I was layering the toilet seat with toilet paper my pen dropped out of my coat pocket and into the next stall while someone was in there. I looked under and it was inches from the guy’s foot. I didn’t know if I should reach my hand under to grab my pen or not. I didn’t want him to stomp on my hand or swat it away. I apoligized and said “sorry”. I waited for him to hand back my pen and he did. Phew. Then I thought what if he thinks this is my way of trying to hit on him. The ol drop the pen trick letting this guy know I’m DTF. I finished up and washed my hands and pen.
bully pjs
I was never a bully nor was I bullied growing up. I’m thankful for my childhood but nowadays kids can get bullied 24/7. You don’t need to go to school to get bullied. You can be bullied when you get home if you own a phone. It’s crazy to think someone can bully you while they are at home eating dinner with there family. They can ruin your life while they are eating their chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes simply by sending a mean text. They could be in there pajamas and bully you. They could be wearing Scooby Doo PJs and harass you until you don’t want to come to school the next day. They can tell there parents “goodnight and love you” and at the same time text you “we’re not friends”. They could be feeding there goldfish while they are feeding you lies.
fetal phone
My teen step daughters are constantly on their phones. It’s annoying. I try to relate but I can’t. I own a flip phone. They are always curled up on the couch in the fetal position while on their phone. They love the fetal position. It’s there comfort zone. I love the fetal position too. The fetal position is my go to move. Stop stealing my move. They should make the fetal position a new dance move in where you fall to the ground and curl up in a ball and suck your thumb. Get up and drop down do the fetal! How low can you go? Get down and do the fetal!
power of duh
I still ‘duh’ my girlfriend. I still go ‘duh’ when she knows the answer to a question she is asking. Saying ‘duh’ is the simplest and easiest way to make your partner feel dumb. It also takes the least amount of effort. She’ll ask me a question that is very simple to answer but instead of answering I get annoyed and say ‘duhhhhhhhh’. The power of duh. It’s powerful. It’s effective. It’s simple. I don’t like being called dumb or stupid. Those are my least favorite words. I think duh is her equivalent. Duh just makes you feel like ‘dang… I should’ve know that.’ It’s also very annoying when someone says it. It is painfully annoying.
text smiles
I see a lot of people while in public smile and look at their phone. It annoys me. I want to punch them in the face. I just don’t like people smiling at a inanimate object. Smiling is reserved for social interaction. Smiling is reserved for real people. People can’t see you smile at a text. I’m real curious to see why they are smiling. I want to go up to someone who is smiling at their phone and be like, “can you show me too?’ What text is so great that you’re smilling? Let me see that text? Did you get a cute emoji? Did someone send you a text of an eggplant?”. I just want to know what’s going on around me. Don’t smile too hard at your text. It’s like talking to yourself. Don’t talk too much to yourself or else your a wierdo. It goes with smiling, don’t smile too much when you’re alone, that’s creepy.
doogie howser moment
First of all I’d like to thank the guy who handed me my pen back under the stall at Home Depot. He could’ve not handed it back. He’s a true hero. Let’s move on and talk fetal. I love a good fetal position. It’s the best position to chill in. I can’t hate if you’re on your phone in the fetal position smiling at a text. It’s better than getting bullied while at home in the fetal. “Duhhhhh”.