a famous TV quote I don’t like
“Won’t you be my neighbor”- Mister Rodgers
my reaction: No thank you Mr. Rodgers. I don’t want to live in that neighborhood. Your neighborhood is full of wierd people. I wouldn’t want to live next door to Cousin Mary Owl. She is dressed like a green owl and hoots too much. That would give me nightmares. I also don’t want to be haunted by Prince Tuesday. I don’t want a puppet named Prince Tuesday hovering over me as I try to cut the grass. Lastly, I don’t want Mr. McFeely, the speedy delivery man, always knocking on my door. Your neighborhood is creepy.
evil gem
I told a coworker that I’m a Gemini. She said, “ya’ll cool to talk to but when it comes to relationships…no way.” I was like “dang” that makes a lot of sense. I am cool to talk to, just not while in a relationship. I never believed in horoscopes until she said this. I need to find a way to uplift my zodiac sign relationship curse. How do I reverse the curse? Can I just change my birthday? Can I identify as a Taurus, Scorpio, or Virgo? I’m just going to change my zodiac sign. I’m a Libra now. I identify as a Libra.
deadbeat wanna be
It’s so hard to be a dead beat dad these days when you have 4 kids. There is always something going on. I can’t get anytime to leave the house and be a degenerate. I’m always involved in a kid activity such as sports or a school activity. Back in the day it was easy being a deadbeat. You would leave the house and no one knew what happened to you because you didn’t have a cellphone. Having a cellphone completly kills the idea of being a deadbeat. I don’t want to be a deadbeat, but I could if I wanted to, I have a flip phone.
sport cigs
My dad would take me to baseball games as a kid. The only times we went was when there was a discount on tickets. We never paid full price. My dad would take us when tickets were 50% off. Looking back I don’t think my dad liked baseball. I think he just liked getting drunk at the games. He didn’t care about the score. He just cared about how much alcohol he was going to consume. He did this one trick where he would ask a group of people if they had a cigarette and then offer them a dollar. The smoker would usually give him a cigarette and decline the dollar. He’d come back with all smiles. It was a great day for him. You’d think he won the lottery. I was very happy for him. I was happy too because I would be entertained by all the drunks.
foolgers
I’m not that confident, but I am confident enough that I can walk into any coffee shop and get offered a job. I look like a barista even though I don’t know how to make coffee, let alone drink it. I think it’s disgusting. I can’t even make Folgers. Their commercial said, “the best part of waking up is Folgers in your hand.” Not for me. Folgers won’t be in my hands or yours. I don’t even know how to use a Kuering which is the simplest device to make coffee in. I know if I ever lose my job I’ll have a job waiting for me at Starbucks.
“tired”
My gf goes to bed at 8:00 pm every night. She claims she is tired from the day. I think she is just sick of her family. She will never say that but she will go to bed at 8:00 at night. It’s pretty apparent. Actions speak louder than words. I get it though. I’m part of that family. I understand why she goes to bed. She has a 15 year old who doesn’t stop talking. She has a 14 year old that is fighting depression. She has a 5 year old that has a meltdown every hour and she has a 1 year old that won’t sleep at night. Then there’s me who is just trying to make it through the day. With that being said she deserves to go to bed at 8:00 pm. I guess I need to go to bed at 7:00 then.
doogie howser moment
I’m glad I’m not a deadbeat. I’d rather be exhausted from being a good dad and go to bed at 8pm like my gf every night. Maybe I should start drinking coffee so I have the energy to be a better partner in a relationship. I love that I can blame being a Gemini for not being good at relationships. I liked that my dad took me to baseball games when we were younger even though he didn’t like sports. It was fun watching drunk people who acted like people in Mister Rodgers Neighborhood. My dad could’ve been a character in Mr. Rodgers neighborhood. He’d be the man who never bought cigarettes. I think my dad was a Gemini.