an article heading I read
Tyson recalls 30,000 pounds of chicken nuggets
my reaction: Tyson is recalling over 30,000 pounds of Dino shaped chicken nuggets. No one should be surprised by this. Chicken nuggets should not be shaped in a form of a Dinosaur. Dinosaurs are extinct. There’s no reason we should be forming chicken nuggets in the form of dinosaurs. There’s a recall because the nuggets may contain metal not because they are in the shape of a Dino (but they should). I can’t eat a animal that’s in the form of another animal. I want my chicken to look like chicken not a Brontosaurus. The dinosaurs have suffered enough. Let’s stop mocking them by re creating them as chicken nuggets. Let the dinosaurs rest in peace.
tv craps
I sold two flat screen TVs to a friend for $25. I ended up taking that $25 to the casino to make more money and get the real value of those TVs. I ended up playing craps and turned that $25 into $50. I should’ve charged my friend $50 for both TVs but I said ‘just give me $25 and I’ll bet that at the casino to get the true value.’ I compare the casino to Tik Tok. It’s a live action Tik Tok video. The casino is full of lights, loud noise, and people who shouldn’t be there. There’s just so much going on. Tik Tok may take your soul but the Casino takes your soul and money.
oat shaming
My gf has been telling me that I shouldn’t be eating oatmeal for breakfast. She says it spikes my insulin. This is coming from the girl who eats a dish of ice cream on a weekly basis. I think I’m doing just okay eating my oatmeal. You know how Taylor Swift has been skinny shamed, well I’m being oatmeal shamed. I never thought I’d be villified for eating oatmeal. I’m making a pledge to give up oatmeal. I want to live a better life. I don’t want to get diabetes from eating oatmeal. I’m going to start eating a bowl of ice cream for breakfast.
be bi
My High School step daughter who has a boyfriend stated she has a crush on another girl on her basketball team. She talks up this girl every week. She will say she really nice things about her on a weekly basis. She said, “if I was gay I would totally date her.” I replied without thinking “you could be bi”. I thought this was pretty good advice. It’s a win win situation for all. You can’t argue that statement and if you do you’re not celebrating diversity.
personal air
The older I get the more I enjoy my personal space. I love personal space. I love when people are not in my bubble. Personal space is one of the greatest things ever invented. I like how we think we own ‘personal space’ when it’s really just the 3 feet of air that surrounds us. Personal space is just air. It’s air that’s personal to you. I love the air that’s around me. I don’t want other people to be in it. It’s my own ‘no fly zone’. Don’t get all up in my air. Give me my 3 feet. That’s why it’s hard to go to a movie, sporting event, or wait in line at a grocery store. My personal space is being attacked by the enemy aka people in public.
devil hair
I was rummaging through my cupboard to find noodles to cook and all I found was angel hair. I picked up the angel hair pasta and yelled “I hate angel hair!”. Angel hair is the worst pasta out there. It’s too soft and stringy. It’s thin. I sound like I’m skinny shaming angel hair pasta and I am. It’s the Taylor Swift of pasta. It’s thin, white, and lacks personality. Just kidding I love Taylor Swift. I just want a noodle with some girth. I want my noodle to be like spaghetti. I want a thick af noodle.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I enjoy my personal space. I just want to sit back and enjoy my oatmeal in peace. I don’t care if it will spike my insulin. I don’t know what insulin is. I still don’t like angel hair. I guess it’s not as bad a Dino nuggets with or without metal. It sounds like those recalled Dino nuggets will be getting a lot of personal space. Lastly, I’m glad I won money at the casino but there was no personal space so I left to go home and tell my stepdaughter to be bi.