moments that are sad in life that shouldn’t be
Butt dials
my reaction: It’s sad being on the receiving end of a butt dial. You look at your phone and see a missed call from a friend and you’re like “wow.. I can’t believe this person called me” but then you call them back and they don’t answer. They will text you back saying, “butt dial”. No sorry. No explanation. No nothing. You feel duped. You just were on cloud 9 thinking you got a call from an old friend and then boom you were hit with a butt dial. A butt cheek wanted to talk to you not a person. A butt called you and wanted to talk, not a human being. You understand how sad that is. Butts just want to talk to you, not a person.
the new trend
I used to be anxious then everyone started to be anxious, and it wasn’t fun anymore. Anxiety became and has become a huge trend. I don’t like to be part of trends. I like to be different. I’m going to start having courage and be bold. Screw anxiety. Everyone is doing it. It’s not as fun as it used to be. I used to be the only one that said, “I was anxious” and then it became a fad. All these kids and even adults were coming out saying “I’m anxious”. Whatever. I’m going to find a new emotional deficiency. I want to be ahead of the curve. Maybe bipolar?
the hurt
I remember in college there was always one guy in the group that gave people nicknames. Everyone had a nickname in college. Anytime you met someone new at a party you probably got a new nickname. The nickname usually always rhymed with your name. I was given the nickname “Curt the Hurt” when I went to visit a friend at a different college once. I was a very skinny guy in college and didn’t lift weights. I wasn’t hurting anyone. The only thing I was hurting was myself. I was more like “Curt I Hurt”. I did a lot of self-loathing back in the day. I was one of the pioneers of self-loathing.
best acquaintance
I want more acquaintances in my life. I don’t want new friends. I love acquaintances. I don’t want a best friend, I want a best acquaintance. I don’t want to meet a new co worker and get to know them because once you get to know them they are weird. I don’t want to know their creepy tendencies. I don’t want to know what unusual things they are in like what porn they watch, what they do in their free time, and what ugly celebrity crush they have. I’d rather just talk small talk about what color they like.
too much tech
I don’t like to be surrounded by too much technology at one time. If I’m watching a TV show that’s all I like to focus on. I’m not sure how people watch a TV show while on their phone. That seems overwhelming. That’s too much technology. If I watch TV, it’s just me and the TV. No other piece of technology needs to be by me. It’s okay to be alone with your show. It’s okay to focus on one thing at a time. How much technology do I need to avoid life? I just need one piece of technology to avoid life.
oops door
In the last two weeks I’ve had two people walk in on me while I’ve been in public restrooms dropping a deuce. The first time it was my fault as I didn’t lock the stall door and someone walked in. The last time I did lock the door and the guy jingled the door a few times until the door opened. I understand you have to go but the door was clearly locked. He opened the door wide open and I said, “sorry”. I’m not sure why I was sorry. I was sorry because I knew he was in a time of distress. He should’ve apologized to me. I’ve never walked in on a person because I always look under the stall before I go in. I do a quick double take under the stall to make sure the coast is clear.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I can see why people are anxious. There’s a bunch of people knocking down bathroom doors to use it while you are occupying the stall.. People have no idea what’s going on because they have a distraction device in their pants. I guess it’s why I’m “Curt the Hurt” because all I get is butt dials from acquaintances.