something I’m annoyed by but shouldn’t be
mango habanero
my reaction: I don’t like mango habanero as a flavor for chicken wings. I don’t like it how I don’t like pineapple on pizza. Sweet and spicey should stay separate. If I want desert I’m not going to want something spicy. I don’t want a spicy cupcake.
belittle caesar
You shouldn’t eat pizza after 10:00 pm. If you’re ordering pizza after 10:00 pm you better be high, if you’re not you’re making the wrong choice in life. I was driving pass my local Little Caesars on a weekday and there was a line five deep around 10:00 pm. I pray to God that everyone in that line was stoned. That’s the only logical thing I could think of. You only eat pizza that late if you’re high as balls. If you’re sober and eating pizza that late you need to reevaluate your life.
air flaccid one
Last week the family and I went to Arizona. I like to wear a hat while traveling on a airplane. It’s a good way to feel incognito. I like to put it over my face while I fly so I can sleep and block out light. During my flight I was sick of wearing my hat so I put in on my lap. There was a lady next to me and I thought she was thinking I was covering up my boner. I didn’t have a boner. I just thought she thought that. I was just lying my hat there because I had nowhere else to put it. It looked like I was covering up a mid flight boner with my hat. I took it off after 5 minutes to show her in fact I did not have a boner. I don’t think she was looking at all. She was glued to her screen but I wanted to play it safe.
cramp stamp
I saw a mom in her 40s with a tramp stamp at the airport. A tramp stamp is a tattoo on women’s lower back. It wasn’t a new tramp stamp. It was old and worn out. I don’t think women in their 40s get new tramp stamps unless they want to make up for lost time. I don’t judge. Do you. I guess it could’ve been a ‘cramp stamp’. I know cramps are common for women in their 40s. She seemed like a good mom. She was attentive to her children. She was married. Her family seemed nice. It just goes to show you that if you get a tramp stamp you’re not really a tramp.
assisted dispensary
I went to a dispensary because they are legal in Arizona. It’s fun going to a weed dispensary. The only other two customers were old people while I was there. They could’ve been my grandparents. The clerks there are funny. They act like they are pharmacists. I wanted a edible that would assist with sleep. They recommended me a blueberry sour strip. They said, “oh this one is good. You should have no problem sleeping.” I don’t think drugs should be candy. Candy is addictive. Drugs are addictive. That’s double addictive. I got weed pharmacists giving me doses of candy as medicine.
hot nut
During my trip I went to get doughnuts for the family. We went to a doughnut place called Rainbow Doughnuts. We walked into the store and the first thing that caught my eye was not the doughnuts but the man working behind the register. He was the hottest doughnut man ever. He was too hot to grab doughnuts. He had the bluest of eyes, shaved head, and athletic build. He was not meant to grab doughnuts. He was kind. He also gave us free doughnuts. He could have an Only Fans account. I would pay to see him play with doughnuts while in a swimsuit.
doogie howser moment
I used to tolerate mango habanero but it got played out. Mango habanero had its run. I’m glad the dispensaries don’t make mango habanero edibles but they should make weed doughnuts. That would make people go to Little Caesars in the morning not night. In retrospect, maybe I did get a boner from looking at that tramp stamp.