something i wish for
summer to be over
my reaction: I want summer to be over. It sounds like a strange wish but I do. I’m sick of the nice weather. I want it to be cold. I want extreme weather. I want thunderstorms, snow, or even a tornado. Give me something new Mother Nature.
post ma moan
I’m going to start putting Post It Notes of everything that someone leaves around in the house that they should’ve put away. My house is littered with toys, objects, and personal items that don’t belong. I want to put a post it note on a pair of shoes that are in the middle of the kitchen that says ‘please return to closet’. I want to put notes on all the expired food that my gf insists we keep in our fridge. My house would be a lot cleaner if I were able to put post it notes on everyone’s stuff that’s scattered around the house. I want to put a post note on myself.
death net
I want the internet to end. I want the internet to stop working for a day. I would love seeing people search for data. I want to see people put their phones up in their air looking for WiFi. It would be hilarious to watch millions of people go outside putting their phones up in the air to see if they get a connection even though there is no chance of getting it. Why do people put their phones closer to the sky when they don’t have a connection? Do they think 6 inches make a difference? You know people wouldn’t give up trying to get internet even though it was broke. People would be out there all day with their arm extended trying to get service. They would need shoulder surgery.
fridge rich
My gf is buying a new fridge because it makes noise. It works perfectly. It keeps ever thing cold. It’s functional. It’s not even 5 years old. It gets the job done. She wants a new fridge because it makes a couple of weird noises. The motor hums a lot. It’s not that bad. It’s bearable. That’s when I found out we are rich. We are rich apparently. She doesn’t make 6 figures but we have enough money to get rid of a fridge because it makes a crick noise.
co men
One of the reasons I’m in a relationship is because I’m scared to be home alone at night. I don’t like being at home alone at night. I don’t like when my gf goes on travel for business. I don’t like being the man of the house. I like being the co man of the house. I like to share the responsibilities of being the parent of the house. I don’t want that pressure. It’s too stressful. Me and my gf are co men of the house. I don’t want to be the protector all the time. It tires me out.
hood phone
My gf’s daughter misplace her phone and never found it. You would’ve thought that someone died in our family. I felt like having a funeral for the phone. She was grieving for a week. She ended up leaving her phone on her grandma’s car and her grandma drove off without knowing that it was still on the hood. The phone must’ve fell off on the road and someone picked it up. It was gone. Never to be seen again. I held a vigil that night. I sent thoughts and prayers to that phone. I lit a candle for peace and justice.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I can’t wait for summer to be over because then I won’t feel guilty for being inside when it’s nice out. My distribution of post it notes will go way up due to everyone being inside though. Hopefully, a tornado will come through our area and stop the internet for a day. I want to see people roam the streets like zombies chanting ‘WIFI… WIFI… WIFI…”. I actually can’t wait for a new fridge. The creepy noises have been scaring me. I’m glad I got my gf to protect me from the haunted fridge. If we get a new fridge, I will hold a funeral for my old fridge just like I did with my stepdaughter’s phone.