my new hobby
watching people pick up dog poop
my reaction: I like watching people pick up there dog poop. It makes me feel superior because in my head I’m like, “Pick up your dog poop now! You’re picking up your dog poop because I said so. Pick it up, wrap it up in a baggie, and hold on to it until you see a garbage can.‘ Usually everytime I say that they do that. I’m controlling people’s minds. Not once has someone not picked up there pet’s dog poop while I’ve said that in my head.
coldsmith
I have an inflatable cold plunge outside my house. I’ve been doing it for 2 months straight. Last week, I did my cold plunge while it was raining and thundering. I don’t think I should’ve been out there. I wanted to keep my streak alive and it also makes me feel like I can conquer the world. My new goal in life is being a locksmith. I want to open car doors for people. I think it would be a nice skilled trade to learn. I blame that new goal on cold plunging. It’s made me think I can do anything in life now. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
ugh lee
My gf said our son was the cutest boy in school. I told her she is just saying that because she is his mom. She went on to say ‘tell me one boy that is cuter than our son?’. No thank you. I’m not answering that question. The answer is no one. Even if there was a boy that was hotter I’m not answering that question. I can’t say Johnny is a better looking 8 year old than my son. Just for the record everyone at that elementary school is ugly.
early retirement
I feel like the more time spent on the screen the more people complain. I don’t have charts or graphs to make my point but it seems logical. The more things you look at the more you are going to complain. The less I’m on a screen the less news I see. Anytime someone is on the phone it’s like they are in a retirement home. If you’re around me and on your phone you just checked yourself in to a retirement home. You are in old folks home because you have no idea what’s going on around you. If your on your screen for over 2 hours a day you’re in assisted living my friend.
adulterated
I don’t like being an Adult because that means I have to pay full admission to places. Adults pay full admission for everything. You ever go to the museum or movies? There are children’s prices, adult prices, and senior citizen prices. Adults are getting hosed by full prices. Adults have the most stressful life. Most adults have families or are working a dead-end job. Why make them pay full price? Give adults the discounted price. Make kids free and senior citizens pay full price.
recycle cycle
My 17 year old step daughter recycles the same conversation over and over again. She is junior and she is talking about what she wants to do with her life. She stated she wants to be a real estate agent. I’ve heard the same conversation with her mom about 10x in the last week. I’m not sure what else there is to talk about. She has covered every base. She calculates every outcome of every decision she makes. She is crunching numbers like an accountant of every scenario that will happen even if it’s just going to the store. Don’t talk about be about it. She could have a 24/7 live stream podcast about her talking about what clothes she should wear to school.
doogie howser moment
In summary, being an adult is tough. You have to pay full price for museums and listen to your stepdaughter talk about the same thing every day. It’s also fun. No one can stop you from jumping in a cold plunge while there are thunderstorms. Hey, it’s better than being on a screen and complaining. I also passively tell people to pick up dog poop and judge kids at my son’s school.