an odd reason I’m having a moment of happiness
being alone
my reaction: Recently, I’ve been having random moments of happiness. Then I realized all the times I’ve been happy is when I’ve been alone in my car. No stress from work or life. No one to annoy me. They say lonely people are sad. I disagree. Loneliness is the key to happiness.
garb space
My neighbor will put his garbage bags in our garbage can every week. He doesn’t want to fill his garbage can up because that would require him to walk it to the curb once a week. He has even instructed his wife to put their garbage in our can. She apologized saying, “I’m sorry but my husband makes me.” We have a family of 6. We need that garbage space. I need to put a tariff on them. They also work from home. You can’t walk. You could use the walk. I’m going to put a lock on our garbage can. I’m going to put our garbage can on the other side of the house. I should start going to his house and use his freezer for our leftovers.
bulb man
I had to go to Home Depot to buy mulch. I like going to Home Depot. I feel like I’m a big contractor. I feel like people think I know stuff when I go. Only skilled tradesman like plumbers, electricians, and carpenters go to Home Depot. It’s a home improvement store. Most people who go know stuff or are DIY’ers. I like to think people think I’m a HVAC guy but in reality, I’m just buying light bulbs. I’m not skilled at any trades. I am a professional light bulb installer though. I just need to pick up my 40-watt light bulbs. If you need a bulb, I’m your bulb man.
at the car wash
Whenever it rains people will always say, “well at least I got a free car wash. Keep raining. I need a car wash.” I’ve heard a lot of people say that when it rains. People love rain because their car gets a free car wash. They should love rain because it’s good for the crops. The crops need it. I always say, “it’s raining…free water for the crops”.
that’s so 90s
Everyone is getting advice from people who shouldn’t give advice. There are too many young people who give advice. They write self-help books about life. Come on, you’re not even 40 yet. I want my advice from people who are 90 years old and up. They have lived through it all. They have lived the longest. They should be writing books. Instead, we got influencers on social media posting ‘inspirational memes’ and ‘how to’ videos. All these influencers probably have never worked a real job. They’ve never even mowed the lawn. The real influencers should be old geriatric people in there 90s.
nana boo boo
While my 3-year-old daughter was watching Sesame Street I jumped in front of the screen and said, “nana boo boo you can’t see it.” She was all by herself. She was not bothering anyone. She was content. I had to mess that up because I just wanted a little attention. I guess I’m a bully now. I’m creating a toxic environment. My three-year-old can call CPS on me. I could lose my child because she wasn’t able to see Elmo for a few seconds. If I keep it up I might end up on a Sesame Street with Oscar the Grouch.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, be alone more. Be a lonely soul. It’s the key to happiness but don’t listen to me I’m just a guy in his 40s. I know nothing in life. I try to act like I do by going to Home Depot but in reality I’m just buying a garbage lock. I’m looking for car soap so when it rains next I can wash my car for free. I’m going to have Oscar the Grouch pop out of my garbage can next time my neighbor tries to put garbage out. I will win the battle.
This is awesome, keep up the work on the site!