jus a lil of grandpa’s cough syrup puppy chow should do the trick
I made puppy chow for the first time in my life. I’m almost 40 and I’m a dude which is not your common puppy chow maker. I don’t think a lot of guys have made puppy chow unless there stoners. I love puppy chow. For those who don’t know what puppy chow is, it’s Corn Chex with chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar. As a kid I’ve always looked forward to what homemade sweet my grandma would make for me, be it cookies or brownies. So it inspired me to make puppy chow. Also, I’m really preparing myself to be a grandpa. I want my grandkids to be excited about grandpa’s puppy chow, just as I was excited about my grandma’s cooking. My son is only 2, so I obviously have a long way to go. I need to workout my secret special recipe, aka “go on google and just steal one”. Isn’t that the case with our grandparents cooking? We always say, “my grandma makes the best chocolate chip cookie”. When really they all got it from the only cookbook available at the time…Betty Crocker. It’s more the emotional attachment than the chocolate chip that makes it good. I may not teach my grandkids how to hunt, fish, or input wisdom, but at least they’ll know how to enjoy a homemade puppy chow from scratch stolen from a food blogger on the internet. But in reality I’m a fat kid at heart, I just wanted some p chow.
bird but not larry
I recently installed a bird feeder outside my kitchen window, and when I say install, I mean I filled the existing bird feeder we had with bird seed. The bird seed I bought was marketed as a ‘starter blend’ which is fitting because it was the first time ever I bought bird seed. It’s tag line stated, “Start an amazing wild bird experience today”. I should’ve read the fine print. I don’t want a “wild bird experience”. I’ll take a casual bird experience. I’m just not ready for a wild bird experience in my life right now. So, I filled the bird feeder and within hours word got around town and birds were flying in from all different neighborhoods. It’s been a week and the bird seed is half gone. There are robins building nests and other miscellaneous birds fighting over my starter blend seed. My backyard has turned into an estuary of obese free loading birds I never wanted. I wish this never happened. To quote the raven, “never more”.
the grass is greener on the other side
I often use my girlfriend’s bathroom just so I know what 2 ply feels like again. Seriously, I’m regretting this 1 ply I bought. The sad thing is, I didn’t even buy the 1 ply, I stole it from work. Who steals toilet paper from work? It was technically free but frowned upon if you take it. You don’t want to get caught leaving work with a garbage bag of 1 ply. I’m no hoarder, I take what I need. I have “in” with the custodian, she hooks me up with unused 1 ply when she replenishes the toilet paper in the bathroom. It’s a win win situation. I’ve learned that the 2 ply industry is not a hoax and over rated, but I’m a purist, I’ll take my 1 ply any day of the week. That’s as low as I go. No .5 or .75 ply. I don’t want a ruptured butt. But if given the chance to use 2 ply, I’ll treat myself to my gf’s bathroom. We all deserve to be pampered once in awhile. 2 ply is like a warm hug for your @sshole…and who doesn’t like a warm @sshole hug?
daddy day care
My son does not like getting his diaper changed. If I was him I would want a clean diaper on. Nothing like feeling so fresh and so clean. I hope this doesn’t develop into a weird fetish as an adult. I pray he doesn’t get into wearing dirty diapers as a man in his 30s. I definitely hope he grows out of this stage because it’ll make me look like a bad parent. I’m trying to curb it though. I’ve been using a parent technique called “modeling”. Modeling is showing the behavior you want your kid to exhibit, so I will lay on the ground and have him fake “change” me. I take off my pants (my underwear is still on), lie on the ground, and have him wipe me. He usually just takes a baby wipe to my legs. Then I giggle, laugh, and act like I’m enjoying it. Sure it looks a little weird but it’s gets the job done. I’m not sure if this is the correct use of modeling. It’s more like I’m teaching him to poorly wipe adults knees. Either way it hasn’t been working.
she makes me feel incredible
I’ve been watching a lot of children movies lately because of quarantine and I have a kid. You always have to mention you have a kid when you watch children movies or else it gets creepy. At first, I was annoyed that I had to watch all these animation movies, but if you listen, they usually have good messages. Some perpetuate stereotypes but most of them are about overcoming odds and never giving up. I suggest you watch The Incredibles because it’s a family oriented movie but more importantly because of Elasti Girl. She is the wife of Mr. Incredible and to say I’ve developed a little crush on her is an understatement. Jasmine…Ariel… have nothing on her. Elasti Girl is a mom, wife, and a real superhero. She is talented , has poise, and somehow keeps it all together. Looks and appearance are only skin deep, it’s her personality that is her true beauty, and she has a big butt.
pulling back the curtains: who is Rony Seikaly?
What can I say about Rony Seikaly? First ever pick by the Miami Heat organization ever in 1988. Won most improved player his 2nd year in the NBA. First Lebanese Player in the NBA. A House DJ who has performed all over the world. Pretty cool career for a guy you probably never heard of if you didn’t follow 90s basketball. Hall of Famer? No but definitely has a storied career in basketball and music. A guy who could do it on and off the court. I’m not sure if was successful off the court but it’s fun to say someone does it “on and off the court”.
doogie howser moment
Start learning how to be a grandparent early so your grand kids will love you. Don’t take toilet paper from work unless it’s 2 ply. Disney characters are good looking but more attractive when they have kids. Sometimes being a parent is acting like a baby. And remember to be successful you got to do it ‘on and off the court’.