tattoo I’ve seen that I can’t see anymore
“Let it be”- my gf’s sister’s tattoo that she got removed
my reaction: It’s a good tattoo if she just let it be but she didn’t. She had it removed months after getting it. Granted she was drunk when she got the tattoo. But it was a “let it be” tattoo that she didn’t let be. If she really believed to let it be she would’ve never gotten the tattoo in the first place.
blood bath and body works
Last year while I was in East Troy (small town in Wisconsin) my family and I stumbled upon a festival. This festival was just like any other small town festival. It had live music, beer, and brats. They also had a raffle. Not just any raffle, a gun raffle. That’s just what America needs- more guns. Are mass shootings down that we need to start raffling off guns? What happened to good ol fashioned raffle prizes such as gift baskets from bath and body works, movie tickets, or a grill set. Now we are raffling assault rifles. “Hey where’d you get that gun that you used in that school shooting?” “At a local raffle.”
watts the problem
I went to Lowe’s to buy a new light bulb for a lamp. I don’t think I ever had to buy light bulbs before. All of my lamps have already had bulbs in them. Plus, I like to think I’m energy efficient. I don’t waste my lumens. The light is on when it only needs to be. So, I’m in the bulb aisle and I’m trying to match up the bulb with the one I need. Yes, I brought the bulb to the store. All I had to do was match my bulb to a new bulb. It’s like taking an orange to a grocery store and asking a clerk “Hey, can you help e find an orange like this?”. I couldn’t even do that. A store clerk came to my assistance. He noticed I was in need. He quickly found the bulb with out any effort. I was relieved. I was grateful. I thanked him and shook his hand. It had to be the first time someone shook hands with a Lowe’s associate because they found a light bulb.
monster inc.
I saw a police officer drinking a Monster energy drink. Nothing good comes out when you see a cop leisurely drinking a Monster while driving his squad car. Monster is another whole level of unnecessary energy. It would’ve been okay if it was a Red Bull. Red Bull gives you wings. Monster makes you strung out. Monster will make a cop pull a child over for not having training wheels on her bike. “Where the f*ck are your Training Wheels you b*tch!”
college flunks
You guys ever heard of the College Hunks junk removal and moving company? There slogan is College Hunks Hauling Junk. While driving home I saw a College Hunks moving van with 3 guys that didn’t look like hunks at all, they looked like college drop outs. They all were middle aged and out of shape. College Hunks? More like college flunks. I don’t know what criteria you have to meet to be a college hunk but it looks like they’ll take anyone. I believe the guys I saw in that college hunks van were guys in their 50s thinking about returning to school but never did. They looked like what the Backstreet Boys will look like in 20 years.
eel you
I did a eat for your genes test through GenoPalate. It’s a diet based on your genetic profile to see what dietary guidelines you should follow. You spit in a tube and they tell you what you should eat. It sounds very accurate, right? Two weeks later, I get my results. According to my spit, I’m gluten and lactose intolerant, and I need a high protein diet. The protein they recommended was not chicken, pork or beef, it was eel. Eel? Is there influx of eel that fisherman need to get rid of? I can’t munch on eel all day. I don’t think eating eel everyday is healthy. I don’t know where to get eel? In conclusion, I spent $150 on this genetic diet test just so they could tell me to eat eel.
pulling back the curtains
Walt Kirk played for the Indianapolis Jets in 1949. It sounds like a football team but it was a basketball team in the NBA. Walt Kirk played only in 14 games wearing the number 60 jersey. In that same season, another player on the same team wore the number 60. Kirk, though, had better numbers in his 14 games. I’m not sure who else wore it, nor do I care, neither do you. Walt Kirk, The guy with 2 first names. Good job Walt but your names belongs to Disney.
doogie howser moment
I shouldn’t care that small towns are having gun raffles but it’s strange that a “raffle rifle” could cause more harm than intended. I guess it’s not as strange as test results stating you should you eat more eel. Not as strange as a cop drinking a Monster while on the clock. Also not as strange as shaking someone’s hand for helping you find a bulb. Strange or not….sometimes you just got to let it be.