marketing slogan I saw at a retail/grocery store for ice
“healthier than homemade”
my reaction: This was the marketing slogan for a bag of ice from those freezer boxes you see in the front of stores. Healthier than homemade? I thought ice was ice. Ice is just water. Since when was ice deemed healthy, I thought it was neutral? No one has ever gone to the doctor for having unhealthy ice. Maybe they have. No Doctor has recommended healthy ice from the store. No one has ever said, “ I wish I had some healthy ice to go with my cocktail.” As far the homemade comment, I’ve never referred to ice as homemade. It’s not like I have a ice recipe passed down from my great grandmother. Ya know? There’s just something the way she added the water to the ice tray that made her ice better than anyone else’s I’ve ever had.
committed to clean
I went to Meijer to pick up a few things for the house. Meijer is basically a Wal Mart but just a tad better which is not saying much at all. It’s Target but dirtier. The first thing I noticed as I entered through the doors was that they had a stand for sanitation wipes near the shopping carts. It stated they were “committed to clean”. Are you really committed to clean? It doesn’t seem like it judging by the looks of the store. If you were committed to clean you would have these carts already sanitized. If you were committed to clean I wouldn’t be cleaning your shopping carts for you. Your committed to me to clean for you.
daytona 500
Every grocery store has motorized carts for senior citizens. Those are the last people on earth who should be driving them. They are already bad drivers. Their eyesight is declining. They can hardly hear. Now we just let them drive motorized shopping carts throughout the store thinking that it’s not a problem. Every time they get on one they always hit reverse right into the wall. They always act surprised when they go forward like they accelerated too fast. They are always bumping into the aisles and running into people’s ankles. Half of them don’t have their licenses anymore. I think it’s the only time they can drive.
scratch off
I also saw a guy playing the Lotto. He had a handful of scratch offs. Well… it looks like you should try another way of making money because scratch offs aren’t working for you buddy. Maybe if you work hard and apply yourself you could better your situation. With all the money you’ve spent on scratch offs I bet you could’ve gone down to the technical college and got yourself a degree. Maybe I’m wrong about this guy. He could’ve bought this scratch off as present for one of his kids. I shouldn’t sound off about this guy’s scratch off.
doctor doughnuts
Another thing I noticed was that they had one of those Quick Healthcare Clinics. I don’t know why they are putting health clinics in grocery stores now. I don’t want all these sick people coming into the grocery store. Do you really trust a grocery store doctor? They can hardly keep the store clean and then you want to put your life in the hands of a grocery store doctor? Stop putting small hospitals in the grocery store near the checkout lane. I want hospitals to be on their own property, not in aisle 2 near the doughnuts. I never been sick and gone to the grocery store health clinic to get better. I stay home.
retail fade
My last gripe about Miejer is that it also has a place to get haircuts. You can watch people get bad haircuts while checking out. You thought you made a bad decision buying all that soda, just look at all these horrible haircuts being cut. If you get a haircut from here you have no reason to complain if its bad. No reason at all. If your haircut doesn’t go the way you want it that’s on you. Whose trying to get a fresh cut at the grocery store? I’m not sure what’s going on here. I’m so confused. I’ve made some bad decisions in life but I’ve never gotten a haircut at a retail store.
pulling back the curtains
Lou Amundson went undrafted in the 2006 NBA draft. He played 10 years in the NBA. He was named the G League Rookie of the Year in 2007. He expressed a desire to play for the Swedish national team, but that failed when the Swedish immigration ministry rejected his application for citizenship. Meaning he was good enough to play for the NBA but not the Swedes.
doogie howser moment
I guess you can go to this store and never have to go to another store again. You can drive around in a motorized shopping cart after you wipe it down, get a haircut, and buy some scratch offs. Then you can buy some healthy ice, but just in case you made some homemade ice and get sick, you can go to their very own health clinic. I’m surprised they don’t have an apartment complex attached to this hellhole. I want you guys to know that I wiped down my keyboard before typing this blog as I am committed to clean.