overheard in my head
“$45?!?! Are you serious? Come on! ”– my brain to me
my reaction: The family and I went to a drive through holiday light show. Basically, you drive your car through different holiday themed light displays in an abandoned parking lot. It’s a fun way to kill some time with the family. We went to one that I assumed was going to be a $20 event. I even thought about inviting another family and stuffing them in our car so we could split the cost. That’s 10 a piece. However, I didn’t do that. We got to the ticket booth entrance and the fee was $45. WHAT?!?! There was no turning back. I couldn’t have told the family it was too expensive. We were already in the entrance. I didn’t want to disappoint my family. I don’t want a reputation as a cheap a$s dad. I decided to go as slow as possible to get my money’s worth but I could only stretch it to 20 minutes. I was more pissed. Tis the frickin season.
santa lapper
I think it’s time to revisit kids sitting on Ole St. Nick’s lap. We don’t need the future of America sitting on a fake Santa’s upper thigh anymore. Not because of the pandemic but because it’s just plain weird. We don’t want Santa getting too “jolly”. Tis the season? Nope. It shouldn’t be the season for old guys to dress up like Santa and have 30-50 different children sit on his lap. But if we do continue with this tradition I think parents should bring their own seat cushion. That way we can see if Santa is on the nice or naughty list. If he gets mad that you use a seat cushion, that’s a sign you should probably leave.
rudy
I was always confused listening to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer lyrics when they say “Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you lead my sleigh tonight” or you could’ve made a flashlight in your workshop SANTA! What if Rudolph’s nose wasn’t so bright? What if it was purple? There’d be now way of Rudolph leading Santa’s sleigh.
holiday carbon footprint
I think the North Pole is the worst place to have a toy making factory. The carbon footprint of all those resources to make those toys had to be outrageous. There are no resources in the North Pole. The North Pole is in the middle of nowhere. All there is- is snow. I’m sure they had to import a lot of goods to make all these toys.
christmas face
I get nervous on how my face looks like when I open presents for Christmas. I’m insecure. I don’t want to show poor body language after I receive a gift thus hurting the gifter’s feelings. I’ve been practicing my opening Christmas gift face just so I’m ready for the big day. I’ve been practicing my smile during times when I don’t want to smile like getting home from work, arriving at work, or being told we are having hamburger helper for dinner. I want to be beaming from ear to ear with smiles. It’s tough because I have a hard time faking happy emotions.
doogie howser moment
Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year they say. I guess it is, if your religion celebrates it, but if your religion doesn’t, then I guess it’s just another day. It’s that time of year to get your gifts from Amazon (I mean the North Pole). Tis the season to listen to holiday songs like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer even though though it makes no sense. It’s the time of year for giving. They say giving is better than receiving. I disagree, giving $45 away for a bootleg light show is painful. It’s the time to be jolly, yeah if you’re a creepy fake Santa at the Mall. I know this blog might sound anti holiday, but it’s not, I’m just giving you my Christmas Gift Face in the form of writing.