overheard in my head
“I’ll just wait to pee until I get to my destination… yeah… that’s a good idea.. do that..”
my reaction: I shouldn’t have waited.
5 seconds too late
You ever leave the house thinking “I’m going to save my pee for when I arrive to my destination and use the bathroom there” then end up peeing your pants because you get stuck in traffic. Well, that happened to me last weekend on the way to my step daughter’s basketball game. I got off the freeway after the traffic jam broke and pulled into a vacant small building parking lot. I thought I made it as I put it in park but I was 5 seconds too late. All I had to do was open my car door, walk out, and pee. But I ended up peeing my pants, which bled into the car seat. I stopped half way through and got out of my car to finish the rest of the pee. I got nervous that someone was watching me so I stopped. I had to go back home and change myself. I ended up missing her game. I should’ve been ashamed but I wasn’t. Sometimes there is a point of no return and I reached that.
blad to the bone
Now I have trust issues with my bladder. I guess me and my bladder had a good run while it lasted. We’ve had a great relationship over the last 30 some years but now I feel like I don’t even know it anymore. How are you going to let a grown man pee himself? Come on bladder… I thought we were cool. I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on my bladder. I did drink a lot of water and just had a smoothie before I left. It was the smoothie’s fault. Now, I’m working to build that trust back up with my bladder.
full bottle
Ever since the incident I’ve kept an empty water bottle in my car just in case I have the urge to pee again. It’s gives me a sense of security. I hope I don’t have to use it. I even thought of making a pee bong like how college kids made homemade beer pongs. I would buy a large red funnel and plastic tubing that would attach to my water bottle. That way if I’m stuck in traffic, I’ll just unzip my pants and pee in the funnel which is attached to the plastic tubing that leads right into my water bottle that’s sitting on the floor of my car. I’ll never have to use a public restroom again.
teaching moment?
Peeing my pants couldn’t have come at a worse time. We are training our 4 year old to not pee in the bed. How can I expect him not to pee the bed while he’s asleep for 10 hours and I can’t even hold it for an hour? I ended up showing him my pee soaked pants when I got home. It was like I was proud. It’s like I was bragging to him. I think he thought it was cool. I thought it was cool. I was getting attention. I guess it was a teaching moment. Learn from my mistakes son. Don’t hold your pee. Two days later, he peed the bed.
daddy diaper
I even thought about investing in adult diapers. No one will know if I wear adult diapers. I’m not sure why I’m not wearing them now. There so convenient. I would never have to worry about peeing my pants again. I would wear them to movies and never have to worry about missing a good part. I would wear them to sporting events and not have to wait in line ever again. I would wear them at the restaurant so I could just crap myself and keep eating. Why aren’t all of us wearing diapers?
pulling back the curtains
PJ Brown was drafted in the 1992 NBA draft by the New Jersey Nets with the 29th overall pick. He was voted into the NBA All-Defensive Second Team three times, in 1997, 1999 and 2001,[1] and won the NBA Sportsmanship Award in 2004. He played professionally for the Nets, Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets, New Orleans Hornets, Chicago Bulls and Boston Celtics. Brown retired from the NBA after winning an NBA championship with the Celtics in 2008.
doogie howser moment
Don’t put off what you can do today until tomorrow. In this case, don’t put off your pee until later because you will pee yourself. Invest in adult diapers now, even if your young, because you will eventually have to wear them. Better yet make a pee contraption for your car. As of writing this, it’s been 7 days since I last peed my pants, me and my bladder are as strong as ever.