christmas gift I finally opened
“oh? Coffee scented soap… my favorite…”- me being sarcastic
my reaction: My gf got me a bar of coffee scented soap. I don’t know if you guys know me but I don’t drink coffee. I never have and probably never will. It was a kind gesture but again I don’t like coffee. I like the smell of dog food but that doesn’t mean I want a dog food scented soap. Her buying coffee scented soap for me is like someone buying you a dog poop scented candle and you hate dogs.
back down
I threw out my back the other day playing with my son. The price I pay for being a good dad. I need to stop playing with my son. I’ve never felt so incapacitated. Things like walking, picking up stuff, and wiping my butt have become so painful. It was so hard to wipe my butt I just said “forgot it I’ll take care of this later and just do a spread eagle in the shower.” I’ll let the power of the shower knock off those dingle berries. I’m not sure if I’ll ever wipe my butt again now that I know how efficient spread eagles are in the shower.
a crinkle in my day
I don’t know about you guys but crinkle cut fries are the worst. Hands down. I’ve never enjoyed a crinkle cut fry, I’ve only tolerated a crinkle cut. They are always mushy. Why does there have to be a crinkle in it? I’m all about a nice hand cut fry with smooth edges. Another bad fry is the waffle? Why are you messing with the integrity of the shape of the French fry. Steak fries can suck it too. Too thick. Just give me a hand cut smooth fry any day of the week.
rewarding and fulfilling
There are a lot of job postings that say “start a rewarding and fulfilling job now”. I’m surprised that there are so many jobs that are rewarding and fulfilling that are available. Every job posted is rewarding and fulfilling. It doesn’t matter where you work. It could be working at a landfill, working at a oatmeal factory, or picking up dog poop. They all say it’s rewarding. Doesn’t anyone want to be rewarded and fulfilled?Who doesn’t want to be rewarded and fulfilled? Do people like their unfulfilled and unrewarding jobs? I might apply to a place that makes crinkle cut fries just to see if I get rewarded and fulfilled.
self dab lane
I was at the grocery store buying cough medicine for my son. I went to the self checkout because I think I’m doing a cashier a favor by not making them ring up my items. I got to self checkout and rung up my cough medicine. The check out screen requested I needed assistance from the cashier because I needed an ID to buy it. AThe girl running the checkout lane joked I wasn’t old enough to buy cough medicine. I joked back saying, “yeah I plan to make purple drank” which is cough syrup and Sprite. It makes you high. I guess that’s why teens can’t buy cough medicine. Then she went on to say “I used to drink cough syrup and sprite… we also used to dab.” Dabbing is the process of ingesting highly concentrated THC. I smiled and acknowledged that she did drugs and went on my way.
now you see me now you don’t
I haven’t seen my next door neighbor in awhile but I have seen her husband. It’s been like 2 weeks since I’ve seen her. I noticed he has been more grumpy than usual. He keeps conversations short. He doesn’t seem happy. So, I got to thinking, maybe they got divorced. I also haven’t seen her car in awhile. It makes perfect sense. I even told my girlfriend about it. I convinced myself it was true. I tried convincing her. It turns out she has just been working from home and her car has been in the garage. I actually saw her the other day and almost said, “I haven’t seen you in so long that I thought you got divorced.”
pulling back the curtains
George King was selected by the Phoenix Suns in the second round of the 2018 NBA draft with the 59th pick. His name is George King!?! That’s King George spelled backwards. King made his NBA debut on December 11, 2018, in a 111–86 loss to the San Antonio Spurs, playing six minutes and grabbing a rebound with no points scored.
doogie howser moment
Having limited mobility really puts things in perspective. It frustrates me because I like to be mobile. Maybe that’s what made me go on a tangent about crinkle cut fries. No one should have strong feelings about fries. I’m sure a “dab” from the Pick N Save clerk would take that pain all away. I hope this blog was rewarding and fulfilling and if it wasn’t, maybe we should get a divorce, I’m sure there are other blogs out there.