intro
I couldn’t live in Illinois because I don’t like there license plates.
my reaction: I took my gf to a small town in Illinois for her 40th birthday without our kids. It was a 3 hour road trip from where we live (Milwaukee) to where we were going (Galena). We stopped in Rockford,IL which was about the half way mark to get a pizza to go. We got a farmer’s veggie pizza. It had broccoli on it. I didn’t know broccoli was going to be on it. I feel like that’s the last ingredient that should be on a pizza. I like broccoli by itself but it’s just too hard of a veggie to be on pizza. We ended up eating the pizza on the freeway. It’s fun going 70 mph and mushing pizza into my face. It was my freeway food.
check for hope
We arrived in Galena, IL at about 8:00 pm at night. Galena is a small rural town of about 3500. We checked into our Air B N B which was described as a ‘cabin’. It looked like a small house n Switzerland. There were many different little “cabins” in our area. Each ‘cabin’ was a different color. Our’s was red. Our cabin looked like it belonged in Santa’s Village in the North Pole except there was no elves. It was a little eerie. The cabin looks like a gnome would live there. I envision myself being attacked by gnomes. Could you imagine me getting jumped by a gang of gnomes bludgeoning me with baseball bats? I think there might be a gnome invasion. Our cabin is very small inside. I feel like a giant. I imagine what NBA players must feel like in a studio apartment. There’s a sign in the bathroom that says, “what happens in the cabin stays in the cabin”. This further creeps me out. There was also a pillow that said “Hope”. Is this the start of a horror movie? I just want to relax. I feel like we are being filmed.
little t
We go to a sushi restaurant for dinner because we just ate a pizza two hours ago. We figured we’d eat something light. The restaurant was named Little Tokyo. I’ve never been to Tokyo but the restaurant was little so the name Little Tokyo was fitting. The food was alright. It got the job done. Why do people always think sushi in small towns is not as good as sushi in the city? Why do we think city sushi is better than country sushi? It should be dependent on the cook not geography. The sushi ended up being okay. It seemed wet. In retrospect I wish I had city sushi. I stuck to veggie sushi only. I didn’t want to take a chance on raw fish. I also looked around at all the people eating there and they all looked strange. I judge the food by how good looking the customers are. That’s a little foodie tip I’ll pass on to you guys. If ugly people eat there then leave.
bed and not breakfast
It was a long day of traveling so I couldn’t wait to hit the sack. All I wanted to do was get some good night rest. As soon as I opened up my bedsheets I found a candy wrapper on my side of the bed. I guess it could’ve been worse. It could’ve been a condom wrapper, a bug, or bodily fluids. It made me think that they didn’t clean the bed sheets. Maybe it could’ve been a mint from when the cleaner was doing the bed. Maybe they put a mint on each bed and this time the cleaner decided to eat it. I tried to be optimistic about it but it was hard getting comfortable in the sheets that may have not be cleaned. There goes the whole idea of sleeping in. I wanted to wake up as early as I could to get out of my dirty sheets.
caffeine guts
My gf is an early riser and has to drink coffee. She is a coffee fiend. She is a borderline coffee junkie. She made a cup of coffee at the Airbnb and then we went to two coffee shops after that. She ended up having 4 coffees in the span of 2 hours. I don’t drink coffee. If I had 4 coffees in 2 hours I would have an irregular heartbeat. I would have heart palpitations. I would need to be sedated. How do you drink 4 coffees without any side effects? I feel like the acidity alone would slowly detoriate your body. I get gut rut from a La Croix.
pool party
Our Airbnb was located on a resort which had a lot of amenities that we could use such as a lake, golf course, and pool. We went to the pool for an afternoon to relax. I saw a couple of bros enjoying freezie pops. It’s funny watching bros eat freeze pops. I don’t know why it’s fun to watch bros eating freezie pops. It just is. It’s just ironic hearing teens say “bro… my freezie pop good… bro.. I got black cherry… bro… I love my freezie pop…bro’.
pool dopple
I told my gf that she looked like someone at the pool we were at. Guys, don’t do that to your signifcant other. You probably already knew that. Don’t compare your gf to someone that looks normal. Don’t compare your gf to anyone. It’s a no win situation. We were sitting by the pool and I said, “hey… I thought that was you that walked by” as she is sitting right next to me. It was a middle aged woman who had no features and looked bland. It was neither a compliment or a rib. I don’t understand why I said it. Sometimes my brain to mouth has no filter. I tried to back out of my comments but it didn’t work. I took her silence as a sign that I shouldn’t have said it. I’m glad she can take things with a grain of salt
straws
We saw a lot of bachelorette parties while we were in their downtown area. The downtown is one road full of antique shops, clothing stores, restaurants, and bars. There were a lot of bachelorette parties dressed all in black, some wearing wigs, and in funny shirts. I didn’t see any p*nis straws which upset me. I didn’t see any blow up penises either. It upset me a little bit. I love seeing those types of gags for bachelorette parties. I just wanted to see penis inflatables while families walked by eating their ice cream.
candy shop
We went to a candy shop even though I don’t eat candy. I gave up processed sugar a few years ago. I did find a dill pickle freeze pop which contained no sugar so I bought that. It was tough to drink. It was basically frozen pickle juice. I took it down without trying to make a face but it made me squirm. It was not sweet at all. It was vinegary. I tried to make the best of it. It was my desert. It was an iced pickle juice desert. I wish I could’ve given the bros that freezie pop.
check out
We ended up staying 2 nights at our Airbnb. Our checkout was 11:00 am. At checkout I will decide if all the money I spent on the Airbnb was worth it and then proceed to make a mess if I don’t think I got my money’s worth. If I think I got a good deal at the Airbnb I will make sure I clean a little, make the bed, and follow all rules/regulations. But if I think I got screwed or overpaid for the Airbnb my passive agressiveness will kick in. I will create more dishes by taking out a few cups and sipping an ounce of water out of each. I will move the area rug oh so slightly. I will leave a few crumbs on the table. I will leave skid marks in the toilet. I will ‘dirty’ up the place just enough in where I don’t get a cleaning fee fine. I will do the bare minimum of messiness just so I can feel like I got my money’s worth.
doogie howser moment
I’m not sure if you could tell but we did have a good time. My idea of having a good time is by making fun of stuff. I need to get out of the habit of that and just enjoy life. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful to that I could go on a trip, eat pizza/sushi, stay at a pricey Airbnb, and make fun of my gf for drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee. I’m privileged to go to candy stores and make fun of “bros”. I’m grateful for Galena to give me new stuff I can make fun of. Thank you Galena, I’ll be back.