an observation
I get annoyed by parents who bring their kids to grocery stores.
my reaction: I’m talking specifically about the parents who parade their kid around the store and they expect you to look at them. The little kid is pushing a small cart like they’re a real shopper. The parent is talking in a soft but loud enough voice so everyone can hear them. The parent is making her kid say “hi” to everyone that passes by. They look at you for a reaction like “how cute is my child?”. No one wants to say “hi” to your kid. Stop trying to force your kid to interact with everyone. I just want to get my eggs and go. Stop talking loudly and making all of us look at your kid. Your kid is in my way. It’s not cute. It’s inconvenient.
google deez nuts
We need to stop rating and reviewing everything and anything on the internet. Some things don’t need to be reviewed. Whatever happened to curiosity and going to a place without seeing the reviews? The library I go to has been reviewed over 152 times by users on Google Reviews. My local library has 4.7 stars out of 5 on Google reviews. Why are we rating the library? Was is my library rated so high? Libraries have books and if it doesn’t have the book you want you request it. My library has almost a 5 star rating but every time I go it’s empty but the McDonald’s down the street has a rating of 3.4 and that place is packed.
mug practice
Every time I reach into my car for something after I park in a public parking lot I think I’m going to get mugged. I don’t watch too much TV but I watch enough to know that people always get mugged when they are bending over in their car to grab something from the passenger side. I’ve actually been practicing how I’m going to react when I get mugged. I guess I could just learn self defense but instead I’m practicing my scream when I get mugged. I’m not sure if I’ll scream in a high pitch or just go ‘ah’ or just moan. I think the more dramatic I make my cry for help the mugger will feel sorry for me. He will just be like ‘dude you can keep your stuff… you’re pathetic…get a life’ after I yell out a blood curdling screech. The only way I will get out of a potential mugging is if I scream, yell, and moan like I just found out that the world is about to end.
fist away
I think we can all agree that fist bumps are for people who you don’t see that often. Fist bumps are not for good friends, family, and people you see on a daily basis. You shouldn’t fist bump your best friend. You should fist bump people you don’t see often or that you don’t know. Actually you should fist bump people only at a gym or fitness center. If you fist bump a close friend or family member you’re basically telling them to go away. You are ‘shooing’ them away with your fist. A fist bump is a punch with no force behind it. You’re really just punching them away very slowly. It’s a slow mo punch to say “don’t touch me’.
poodle platter
I don’t like eating food at people’s house who have dogs. The entire house smells like dog breath. It’s hard to enjoy a meal when all you smell is wet dog. It’s not just me who thinks this. I’m sure you think it too. Our sense of smell in responsible for about 80% of what we taste. So if I smell dog food and I’m eating spaghetti I think I’m eating dog food. It’s hard to enjoy. I’m not complaining. It’s hard to enjoy food if you smell dog balls and slobber.
munchie diet
My teen step daughters have the most unusual eating schedule. They will say their not hungry at dinner time even though they haven’t eaten all day. How is that possible? How can you not be hungry if you don’t eat? I think they just don’t like what we make. They’ll end up eating a plate of snacks at 10:30 pm at night. You should be in bed but instead they got all this stoner food out like pretzels, sour candy, and chips. They are not even stoned. How do they got the munchies? Their diets are an absolute atrocious. One rarely eats and the other just eats candy. I’m not sure how there bodies are still functioning. They have to have teen diabetes. I remember as a teen I had candy but not at this level. It’s Halloween every day here.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, if I see a small child with their parent at a grocery store I might just leave (and that’s coming from a person with kids). I’ll go without getting food for a night. I could go and just fist bump the little tike and knock him out accidentally. I guess if I didn’t shop for one day the teens in my house wouldn’t have snacks to eat at midnight. I wouldn’t put myself in a situation where I might get mugged in the parking lot of a grocery store. I could write a google review about my local grocery store and how there’s too many parents and small children there. I guess it’s not as bad as if they let dogs in a grocery store. Maybe someone can invent an adult only grocery store. Ahhhhhhh!