something I ponder
Does DiGiorno’s Rising Crust Pizza still need to rise?
my reaction: The first DiGiorno Rising Crust pizza came out in 1995 and according to it’s website “it revolutionized frozen pizza”. I didn’t think that gimmick would’ve lasted this long. I think it’s time for DiGiorno’s rising crust pizza to stop rising. Who is watching the pizza in the oven as it cooks? No one cares about this magical pizza anymore. I’m sure it’s cool for stoners and stay home dads who have nothing to do. Pizzas don’t need to get bigger in the oven.
take it on the chin
Why is the hair coming in on my beard on my chin only gray? It’s heavily concentrated on my chin. Nowhere else. I look like a skunk with that strip of gray. My chin must be the most stressed part of my face. It’s not just me. I’ve noticed other guy’s chin come in hot with grays too. I want my chin hairs to stay dark and young looking. My chin hairs look like Joe Biden but the rest of my beard looks like a young hip millenial just trying get out of work for having ‘mental health issues’.
stinky couch
I don’t like when my step daughters come into the house after basketball practice and then lay immediately on the couch. I don’t want the couch that I rest and relax on for the night to be full of teen sweat. My couch is going to have BO if they continue to do this. I’m going to have to sanitize my couch with bleach. I wish they would just shower after practice. I could tell them but I like to avoid conflict. I guess we will just have a sweaty stinky couch. That sounds like a children’s book. The Sweaty Stinky Couch written by Curt P. It’s about a couch who just wants people to be clean. No sweat, no crumbs, and no farts. It’s the story of a couch that overcame adversity and sweat to become a couch that all people could sit on.
chili jewels
I saw a flyer for a jewelry and chili sale. I love the absurdity of that combo. Chili and Necklaces. Get dolled up with buying expensive jewlery and then grab a piping hot bowl of spicy chili. It makes no sense. I guess the world doesn’t make sense but I love that idea. I’ve never met someone who was like ‘lets go out for chili but first let me put on my favorite pearls’. Chili is supposed to be eaten without jewlery. It’s a meal you eat in sweat pants. It’s a meal you eat then burp and fart while watching the big football game.
lawn turkeys
I miss halloween decorations already. I want them to come back. It was entertaining to see ghosts, spider webs, and big pumpkin inflatables on people’s yards. Now all I see is Thanksgiving decorations on people’s lawns. It’s usually just a bunch of inflatable happy turkeys. Not sure why they are happy because half of their population is going to get wiped out soon. Inflatable turkeys also look dumb. I don’t even know why I eat turkey. They make turkeys seem so dumb in the media. They are just gobbling around with that dumb turkey face on. No wonder we mass kill them.
living room club
I’m becoming more of a homebody which I don’t like. I’ve always been a person on the go but being a home body is boring. I no longer look forward to the weekends because I don’t do anything fun. I don’t go out and do stuff. I have to make my own house look appealing. Me going out is me going to the living room. I have to go in with the mindset of ‘I can’t wait to go to my living room after 8pm! My living room is going to be awesome. Lit af. Then after we hit my living room I’m going to my kitchen to get snacks… best food in town… maybe go to the basement… and then finally to my bedroom to get catch some zzzzzz’s.’ It’s going to be a crazy night in.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, I should be proud of my gray chin hairs. It shows I have wisdom. It shows that I have experience living life. I’ve been around since the debut of rising crust pizza and now I’ve seen the debut of a chili/jewelry sale. I’ve seen the invention of inflatable turkeys. I should be grateful for my grays. At the end of the day I get the chance to go my living room and lay on a sweaty couch.