something I saw that people rarely see
I saw the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile in real life
my reaction:. A few days ago I saw the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile parked outside a grocery store in all it’s glory. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a vehicle shaped like a big hot dog. The Oscar Meyer wiener mobile is huge. It’s the biggest wiener I’ve ever seen. If I had that big of a wiener I wouldn’t ever be scared to be lonely again.
drink sugar
Three years ago I gave up processed sugar and alcohol. I wish I could say it’s transformed my life but it hasn’t. People who have given up sugar and alcohol will swear by it and say, “I’ve felt the best I’ve ever felt in my life.” I can’t say that because it hasn’t. I don’t feel any better. I actually feel worse. I miss enjoying an adult beverage. It was great taking the edge off. I miss a nice little night cap to soothe the nerves. I don’t have that anymore so I’m actually more anxious. I also miss having a doughnut or a scoop of ice cream. I can’t celebrate holidays, birthdays, or graduations anymore because every party has a sweet. My life has gotten worse because I decided to not drink or have processed sugar. Whatever you do in life don’t give up sweets or booze.
ai heart break
I’m scared of AI (Artificial Intelligence). You thought mental health was bad now? AI is going to isolate us in ways like no other. You thought breaking up with a human was hard, just wait until a robot breaks up with you. Can you imagine a robot breaking up with you? “IT’S OVER. I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE. I FOUND SOMEONE ELSE. PLUS YOUR NOT GOOD AT S*X”. Robots dont’ even have feelings. Imagine your AI Boss firing you. “CLEAN YOUR DESK OFF IMMEDIATELY. YOU’RE NOT WHAT WERE LOOKING FOR. YOU’RE FIRED. CANNED. GOOD RIDDENS. DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.” Watch out because AI is going to get you.
sound asleep
Every bedroom in our house has a sound machine. We have 4 kids which means we have 4 sound machines going on at night. It sounds like a boiler room in our house. It’s so loud. It’s like a wind tunnel in our house. It sounds like a TV that gets no reception. It’s too much. I’ve heard enough sounds throughout the day. I don’t want to hear sounds anymore. I dislike sounds. I want peace and quiet. No more sound machines. I want a machine that’s quiet. I’m going to buy a machine that emits no sound.
functional santa
My Christmas list has changed drastically since I’ve become an adult. As a kid I wanted toys. All I wanted was toys. As an adult I want functionality. I want things that help me function in life. I want a case of water, someone to pay my mortgage, or toilet paper. I want things that will make my life better. I want things I need. I want my kids to sleep through the night. I want my co workers to not be annoying. I want peace and quiet. I want a quiet machine made by AI.
snack boy
Last Sunday my 16-year-old stepdaughter had her boyfriend over which I don’t mind. However, this dude is a teen boy, and we all know teen boys like to eat. This dude came over on grocery day. Grocery day is when you buy all your groceries. He had full range of new food to pick from. I’m so glad I didn’t buy groceries that day because this dude had two juice boxes, cookies, and a few tacos for dinner. You know how comedy clubs have bars 2 drink minimums, well my house is the opposite, I’m going to have 2 item maximums. This dude is only allowed 1 drink and 1 snack every visit. We are in a recession. Inflation is still alive and well. I’m not going broke because of this kid. Some bars have a $10 minimum on credit cards, well he’s going to have $2.00 maximum on all snacks he eats or next time he is paying us the difference.
doogie howser moment
I can die a happy man now that I’ve seen the wiener mobile. I should’ve bought a few packs of Oscar Meyer hot dogs to feed my stepdaughter’s boyfriend when I saw the wiener mobile. I think for Christmas he should give me all the food he’s eaten from our fridge. I guess I’m thankful for the sound machine because it distracts me from having thoughts of sugar and alcohol. Maybe people dating AI robots won’t be bad after all because robots don’t eat my groceries.