life hack I just made up
avoid things you like
my reaction: If you’re always around things you like you start to not like it. That’s why I avoid meat, sugar, fun, friends, and life. If I have too much of it, I won’t like it anymore. Maybe that’s why I avoid my family because I like them so much.
sheet sandwich
One night one of my step kids was eating a Jimmy John’s sandwich on my side of the bed. She was talking to her mom who was trying to go to bed but using my side like it was a place mat. I don’t know why we have a kitchen if our kids are going to use my bed as the dinner table. I don’t want to slide into bed with lettuce crumbs in my sheets. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night with lettuce in my mouth. I guess lettuce crumbs are the healthiest crumb out there. It could be worse. There could be ground beef crumbs in my bed. A small piece of lettuce isn’t that bad after all. Any kind of vegetable crumb is okay with me but I don’t want my bed to turn into a picnic bench.
shower hour
I have another step daughter who talks about how she is going to shower for the entire duration of the night. I think that’s her idea of an activity. She will talk about showering the entire night. It will be 6:00 pm and she will say “I’m going to go downstairs and shower in 30 minutes.” Thirty minutes will pass and she hasn’t showered. She then will be on her phone for a couple hours in the fetal position on the couch. She will bring it up once again at 8:00 pm saying, “I’m going to do laundry and then shower.” A few hours will pass and it will be 10:00 pm and she will finally shower. Don’t talk about it be about it. I think it’s her way of killing time to make herself feel like she’s more busy than she actually is. Please just take a shower.
oh boy
The same step daughter who talks about taking a shower will tell me how she thinks boys are cute when we are watching sports. Countless times she has said, “oh that boy is cute” while watching a basketball game. I don’t know if I supposed to agree or not. Why do I need this information? What am I supposed to do? She has a boyfriend too. I can’t tell her that he is ugly or cute. I can’t make any comment. I can’t tell her if I think a woman is cute while watching a TV show because she would tell her mom. I just have to keep it bottled inside.
ice cream woman
My gf went to Costco to get frozen treats for her daughters because they are getting braces. She got so much frozen treats it looks like she could start an Ice Cream Truck business. I don’t think we need that much frozen treats. It doesn’t make sense. They are getting dental work done. They may have straight teeth but after all that sugar they eat they are going to have no teeth. They are going to live off ice cream, sorbet, and frozen yogurt while they have braces. Are braces just an excuse for them to eat more sugar? It seems like it.
un full house
I’ve been in a relationship for the last 14 years but sometimes I feel like being single just so I can have my own place. I just want a one bed room apartment that I can furnish with all my own things. I love a clean house. I like things a certain way. I like to be in control. I just want a one bedroom apartment that I can be OCD in. I would clean the floors, vacuum the carpet, and wipe down the kitchen daily. It would be too clean. I freak out when there is one spoon in the sink at night before I go to bed. If I had my own apartment that would never happen. I could live in state of peace because cleanliness is next to godliness.
doogie howser moment
Don’t worry I’m not going to divorce my gf just so I can have my own space but if I did all of the avoidance would make us that much stronger. I’d miss out and be bored out of my mind in my own clean house with nothing to be annoyed at. It would be very peaceful but very lonely. Peace is loneliness. I’d rather go to bed with a half sandwich in my bed sheets than be in bed that’s clean. I wouldn’t hear my step daughters talk about showering for hours. Lastly, I wouldn’t know what NBA players are cute anymore either.