something i call my gf
wah wah
my reaction: I call my gf “wah wah” even though I’m the one that’s crying. She never wah wah’s. I’m the one who wah wah’s 24/7. I should be called wah wah. I guess they say, “better out than in”.
generic strip
I love the simplicity of small towns. There’s no materialism. No one is trying to impress each other. They have low standards. I was driving through a small rural town and I passed a strip mall full of stores. They had a Dollar Tree (a must for all strip malls), Ace Hardware, and Mexican Food. The sign didn’t say the restaurant’s name it just said Mexican food. Usually, they will put the restaurant’s name but not here. It’s just so general. It shouldn’t work but it does. The locals don’t care if that restaurant has a name. They just want their chimichanga and be on their way. They don’t need a fancy name like Julio’s, Mis Amigos, or Taco Bell. The locals just want their Mexican food with sour cream and too much cheese.
a/c a/c
My gf is anemic, yet she keeps the A/C on at 71 degrees. I’m not sure what she is doing. If you have thin blood and are always cold why is the temperature at 71 degrees? It’s lower than room temperature. It’s almost in the 60s in our house. We are 2 degrees from being in the 60s. When I go outside, I wear shorts and a tee shirt but when I’m inside I have to put on snow pants and a parka. I even put a heater on just to stay warm in our air-conditioned house. It’s not an ice bath, it’s a cold air bath. No wonder everyone has got the sniffles in our house. My gf is recreating Siberia. We could have a pet Polar bear. My nipples are always hard. I can cut cheese with these nips.
greatest showman
My neighbor said he thinks Michael Jackson is innocent. I’m not sure how we started talking about Michael Jackson but we did. His main point was that Macaulay Culkin said MJ never did anything to those boys during the sleepover. I don’t believe that’s a good argument. Macaulay Culkin was an actor, a good actor in fact. You don’t think he was lying? He also played Kevin McCallister who tricked two of the most notorious thieves in the USA in Home Alone. How can you base multiple accusations of child abuse because Macauly said no. There was even a documentary on it detailing what Michael Jackson did. I think Macaulay Culkin wanted to do Home Alone because he knew he would be home…alone.
wyd
I text my gf like I’m a 16-year-old teen. I’ll text her wyd which means “what you do” while she is at work. I know what she is doing but it’s a quick and easy text that shows I care. I know she is at work doing work related things. I don’t need to know the specifics. I’ll even text her when I’m in the living room while she is in bed at night saying ‘wyd’. I know she is going to sleep. I guess it’s my way of being secretly annoying. I like to poke and prod my subjects. It’s fun to have fun. It’s my way of being a little irritable but in a fun way.
take a hike buddy
I looked up ways to relieve stress but I don’t think any of them work. The only way to relieve stress is to not have things that stress you. A house, kids, car, a job, or anything tied to responsibility. All the articles on stress relief I can’t do because I have responsibilities 24/7. Every article will say relieve stress by doing yoga, go on a hike, walk, and meditate. Ok so you just want me to drop what I’m doing and go take a hot yoga class while I’m making dinner for a crying 2-year-old? Hey honey, I’m feeling stressed so I’m going go for a hike at Mount Everest. I’ll be back in 4 months. Good luck with everything. I’m just going to forgot about all my responsibilities and be a deadbeat. That’s how you relieve stress, you become a deadbeat.
doogie howser moment
In conclusion, why do you think I text my gf wyd? It’s not because I want to know her thoughts on Michael Jackson. It’s because I want to know when she’ll be home so I can go for a hike to a small town because it’s too cold in the house and I’m a wah wah.