something I’m too old to do
sneak into an apple picking orchard
my reaction: I snuck into an Apple orchard with my son and daughter. This wasn’t a big scheme where we dressed in black, hopped a fence, and stole apples at night. In reality, we went to an apple orchard during the day and was told by staff that apple picking was sold out. My son was devastated. I wasn’t going to let him down. I had to do something illegal to make him feel better. So, we just walked by security working the orchard and picked a few apples. When I say few I mean 7 apples.
s-car-y show
I took my son to his first car show which was oddly enough at a cemetery. It was a little eerie. We parked right off the street from the graveyard then walked pass hundreds of dead people to look at some sweet cars. The car show had well over 100 cars. There was even a cover band made up of Army soldiers singing pop songs. They were dressed in fatigues, boots, and had the classic Army shirt on. There was also a booth with information on the cemetery. I got myself a free pen, candy for the kids, and a comb. I didn’t know cemeteries had swag. I got a cemetery comb. I got a free funeral comb.
mcremedy
My oldest stepdaughter came home from school stating she was sick but in reality she just had the sniffles. She was in her bed from 3:30pm to 9:00pm because she had the sniffles. When did sniffles count as being sick? The sniffles is too cute of a name for feeling bad. She was bed ridden with the sniffles. She finally got out of bed after 5 hours to go get ice cream at McDonald’s. Her cure for the sniffles was an ice cream cone from McD’s. This story has a good ending guys. She was able to defeat her bout with the sniffles and go to school the next day.
made with stuff
I’m sick of buying local products that are ‘made with love’. Every product at a farmers’ market, holiday bazaar, or local shop is made with love. Give me a break. You can’t make products with love. That seems impossible. A lot of soap and candles are made with love. I want to watch the person making my soap with love to see if they really made it with love. Are they smiling the whole time? Are they enamored with the process? It seems to me like they would be stressed making a product. They should get a new slogan “made with stress” or this product was ‘made with sadness”. A lot of tears went into making this candle. I want a candle made with hate.
spirit of chivalry
Chivalry is not dead. I saw a guy open and close a car door for his girlfriend. I thought this was a great moment in relationship history. There is hope for the young generation to find love. It doesn’t matter that they were leaving Spirit the Halloween costume store. Usually, you the open door for your significant other for a fancy restaurant not buying a slutty costume for your gf at Spirit. She was also the driver. He opened the door for his gf who was driving her car. Now I’m thinking she should’ve opened the door for him. I’m going to ask my gf to open the door for me next. I’m paving the way for men to feel pretty. I’m going to knock down barriers.
watch my back
My other stepdaughter who is 15 is interested in watching the Mendez Brothers new show. The Mendez brothers were found guilty of killing their parents 30 years ago. It’s odd that she wants to watch something this dark and real. Is she trying to tell us something? I’m getting nervous. I’m going to start locking the bedroom door before I go to sleep. I’m going to install a surveillance camera in our bedroom. I’m going to have a metal director at our front door. It’s going to be like going through TSA. Full lockdown. See something say something. I’m on high alert. I’m not messing around.
doogie howser moment
In summary, I got to keep my head on a swivel because one stepdaughter has the sniffles and the other is watching the Mendez brothers. When I was at the cemetery car show, I should’ve been looking for my future grave site. I need to start buying things made with love for my stepdaughter, so she doesn’t get the wrong idea. Maybe she was mad that I stole apples from the orchard, and she is going to restore justice. In conclusion, it’s good to know that chivalry is not dead, but I might be.