something i tell my gf repeatedly even though she isn’t
you’re emotionally unavailable
my reaction: I repeat what I hear. This is one of example of me doing that. I’m sure I heard this term several times in the past week on the internet, television, and in real life. I randomly will pick a saying like this and beat it to death. I don’t actually believe she is emotionally unavailable but after saying it over 100 times the last couple of days I think she might.
a lawn time ago
My gf has banned me from mowing the lawn. She says that I cut it too short. I think it looks great when it’s short. It looks like a fairway at a golf course. It’s nicely manicured. I like to cut the grass on the second lowest setting which is #2. She likes to cut the grass on setting #4. The #4 setting is so high. At that point might as well not cut the grass. It’s just a waste of time. It’s literally a trim. We’d have to cut the grass every other day if we did her way. I’d never thought I’d argue about the length of grass on our front lawn but here I am. I have to secretly cut the grass when she is not home so I don’t get read the riot act.
floor towels
As you know my 16 year old stepdaughter is notorious for leaving socks around the house but now we can add towels to that list. She is a towel user abuser. I’ve never seen someone use so much towels after showering. She uses a new towel each time she showers; one for her head and one for her body. The towels are all over the house. They are on the kitchen table, the couch, and somehow outside on our patio. We are in a towel crisis at our house. Our towel laundry is threw the roof. It’s astronomical. You’d think we had a small community pool in our backyard and I’m in charge of towel duty. I just use one towel per week or until it starts to stink which is actually two weeks.
bbq cheek
I went to an All You Can Eat Korean BBQ place for the first time. It’s a place where you cook our own food. It’s was $40 per person. It was a hefty bill. I tried to eat as much as I can but it was tough. There is a lot of pressure to get your money’s worth so you have to eat until you are bloated. You pay a lot of money to feel bad. I think I got my $40 worth. I ate chicken wings, steak, short ribs, pork belly, tongue, cheek, and jowel. All the meats were good but I didn’t need to spend $40 to eat pork cheek and a cow tongue. Those parts of the animal shouldn’t be that expensive. They should be cheap. Next time, I’m just ordering steak and I’m bringing a baggy. I’m going to sneak a nice medium rare steak out in my fanny pack. I’m going to have a fanny pack full of steak.
farm fast
I also went to a place where they have Pizza on a Farm. Pizza on a Farm is exactly how it sounds. You get to eat pizza that is made on a farm using local ingredients. I got to eat freshly made pizza while looking at cows. I ended up eating almost a whole pizza by myself. I fasted the entire day because I knew I was going to eat pizza. If you plan to eat pizza, fast the entire day because you will be able to eat more pizza and enjoy it without feeling like crap. That’s my pizza tip of the week. If you know you’re going to eat pizza don’t eat anything the day of.
jump man
My mom’s car battery died a few times this past weekend so I had to get jumper cables and jump her car. That’s the only thing I know how to do when it comes to cars. It’s fun to jump a car. I feel so powerful. I feel like a superhero. People will always chime in when you’re jumping a car. They will say, “red to red, black to black” when connecting the cables. It’s basic car jumping 101. You’re just matching colors. We were able to get the car going with the jumper cables. I felt like I was a car mechanic. I was validated by the start of the car.
doogie howser moment
In summary, I love jumping cars. It makes me feel like I know a skilled trade. I felt entitled to eat a nice pizza and deserved to eat Korean BBQ after jumping a car. Not only do I love jumping cars but I love to cut grass (only if it’s short). I love using a fresh towel to wipe off my sweat from mowing. After being annoyed by towels, over eating, and arguing about grass I think I’m emotionally unavailable.