something i do for fun as an adult

go to a car wash

my reaction: I like to go get a car wash for entertainment. I start screaming with excitement when the water is on full blast, the drapes hit the car, and when the blow dryers are blowing. You’d think I was on a roller coaster but nope I’m slowly going through a car wash at 1 mph.

caution

Some products are too proud to be ‘Made in the USA’. For instance, the yellow caution tape at the playground we go to is made in the USA. The ‘MADE IN THE USA’ lettering on the tape is bigger than the word “caution”. It was on there every 12 inches. I don’t need to be reminded of that. I don’t care where this caution tape is made. The tape could be made in Antarctica. It could be made on the moon. It could be made by a alien from Mars. I even went to the caution tape’s website and it stated “proudly manufactured in the USA”. I don’t think anyone working at the factory is proud that they made caution tape. No one at that factory is proud at all. I’m sure they didn’t go home saying ‘honey… I’m so proud that I was able to make caution tape today’.

chester a

I don’t understand how people can be on their screens for hours a day. If I’m on my screen for than 10 minutes I feel disgusted. I feel gross. I need to get out and see a real person, walk on grass, and be part of Earth. After 10 minutes of screen time what am I doing? I don’t know what else to look at. It will just get worse. I will go down a rabbit hole of nothing good. I will start looking up things that don’t matter like how giraffes mate or who was the 21st President, ya know stuff that doesn’t matter to me. The 21st president does not affect my daily life. By the way his name was Chester Arthur. He had two first names. He had two names that sound creepy.

protein hand

The protein craze is out of hand. Protein is in everything now. I can’t even eat a carrot with out it being injected with protein. My gf is all about eating protein. She has succumbed to this trend. She doesn’t need that much protein. She doesn’t need to eat half a chicken, a 40oz steak, or a whole salmon. My gf has a desk job. She’s in a office all day. She doesn’t need to be chugging protein shakes. She’s typing all day. AI does half her job. She needs all this protein for typing? She’s got muscular fingers. Her fingers got biceps. No one needs that much protein these days. Caveman needed protein not Gen Z.

wheel on wheel

I almost hit a man in a wheel chair while riding my bicycle home from work. Actually, he almost hit me. He was crossing the intersection when he shouldn’t have. He was technically jay walking. Yet I felt like it was my fault. We didn’t collide but it was still traumatic. I asked if he was good and he said yeah. We dapped each other up and he took off. I’d like to think I saved his life that day. If he would’ve crossed the intersection he would’ve been hit by a car. He didn’t have the right away. I’m actually a hero in this story. I saved a life today, did you?

team nuts

I coach 2nd grade boys soccer and all the kids do is grab their balls during practice. There is too much grabbing. It’s like I have team of Michael Jacksons on my team. I don’t know how to tell them to stop. I’ve definitely stopped high fiving them. It’s all knuckles from here on out. The only thing I do say is “do you have to use the bathroom?”. They usually respond no. I’m just trying to coach soccer not deal with a whole bunch of nut grabbers. Too much nut grabbing. I didn’t sign up to be a volunteer coach to witness this. I want out.

doogie howser moment

In summary, I believe no one needs that much protein. Maybe a professional athlete or someone in a skilled trade. Not the car wash attendant, an assistant soccer coach, or the person who makes caution tape in the USA. The only person who needs protein is the guy in the wheelchair who almost hit me. In conclusion, the reason I go to the car wash is because my 10 minutes of screen time is up and I need to experience life.