something i do to trick people into thinking i brush my teeth

put peppermint oil on my neck

my reaction: I actually brush my teeth twice daily, but you couldn’t tell by how yellow they are. I use peppermint oil on my neck to relieve stress, but the oil is so fragrant that it smells like I just jumped into a vat of melted candy canes. It gives the aura that I brushed my teeth really good but in reality, I don’t. It’s subpar,

it’s bs

I’ve had IBS my whole life. I used to think it was from eating diary and gluten but they’re not the culprit anymore. It’s not from eating pizza pockets, mac n cheese, and cheesy bread, it’s from spicy food. All the pain and agony of my life has been from a jalapeno. I love hot sauce but hot sauce has messed me up. All these years I thought I had IBS or a life threatening a$$ disorder. Nope, it was just Flaming Hots. When I’ve given up hot sauce for a week I feel like I just cured myself. My colon is feeling good. But if I put a drop of hot sauce on my noodles it’s like my butt took a hit of acid and had a bad trip.

greetings

The principal at my son’s school will greet every student that walks in the door every morning. I’ve seen this trend becoming more popular amongst other schools. They’ve stated that the kids are more engaged and get better grades. I don’t remember seeing my principal at all during school. He would hide out in his office all day. The only time I saw my principal was when I was in trouble. Principals never greeted kids during the 90s. They didn’t want to see their students. They were too busy banging the secretary. I don’t know if that last part is true. They could’ve been though. I guess it’s good that principals are greeting students they probably don’t want to say hi to.

goodnight weep

My teen step daughter broke up with her boyfriend last week. She has been crying a lot lately. It’s been affecting my sleep. I’ve been hearing her weep before I go to bed. I usually have a sound machine on for white noise but now I hear a cry machine. Weeping is not a good sound to go to sleep to. I don’t want to hear weeping before bed. I wanted to tell her, “keep the weep down…I’m trying to get my 8 hours of sleep here. There’s other people in the house ya’ know.” Sleep is the most important thing you can do for your body. She’s been weeping all over the place. There’s tears on the couch, the kitchen counter top, and on the toilet seat lid. I need to put a yellow caution sign around the house that says “Beware of Tears”.

mental health daze

Are people still doing mental health days? I don’t know if I could do a Mental Health Day. I would be too bored. My mental health would just get worse. I need to stay busy. I like to escape my problems not wallow in them. I wouldn’t want to stay home in isolation just balled up in the corner shaking. I need to be out and about. I need to be amongst the people. People make me feel better. People who shop at Wal Mart and eat at McDonalds make me feel better. I’d take my mental health day to the parking lot of McDonald’s and just watch people go in and out and I would be fine.

silver(every)ware

None of my teen step kids know how to put away their dishes after there done with them. It’s not even a lot of dishes either. It’s just putting silverware away. They have one utensil to put away since they use paper plates and paper bowls to have their snacks. All they have to do is put away a fork, spoon, or knife but they can’t. There are so many knives in the sink and counter top. Our kitchen has become a booby trap. One wrong turn and you can accidently get stabbed by a knife. So many knives in our kitchen. It’s a emo kids dream.

doogie howser moment

In conclusion, I just want put peppermint oil on my neck and breathe in the minty goodness. That’s my version of a mental health day. It’s really a mental health moment. I don’t need a whole day. I can’t spend the whole day at my house that’s full of knives, weeping kids, and hot sauce. I need to get out and go to the McDonald’s parking lot and hope to see my son’s principal eat her feelings.