# 100 like I’m all out of nba players

intro

This is my 100th blog. Obviously, it’s in the name of my blog. Someone asked me if I was going to do anything special. I thought about it and no I’m not doing anything special. I’m just going to keep following my winning formula and not change anything. No politics. No current events. Just my perspective on things that don’t matter. Enjoy.

extreme wipers

There was an advertisement for windshield wipers that claimed they were good in weather ranging from -85 degrees to 185 degrees. You know just in case you were thinking of driving to hell or Antarctica. Minus 85 degrees? Who is going out to do errands in that kind of weather? Nothing will be open. Are you sure your car will even start? 185 degrees? I don’t think you’re going to need your wipers when it’s that hot. It doesn’t rain in that kind of weather. If it does, it’ll melt your car.

chip dust

You ever watch people eat a bag of chips and then they “drink” the crumbs? I can’t do it. I would gag from all the chip dust. People drink the bag of chips like it’s a cola. Chugging it like a college bro downing a Miller light. People only do this with chips, never with cereal. No one is ever pouring Cheerio crumbs down their throats. The bottom of the cereal bag is the least desirable. Who wants the last place crumbs? That’s loser food.

sleeping poopy

Some people can go to sleep with poop in them. Trust me, I know you’ve done it before because I’ve done it. I tried and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I like being poop less in bed. It makes me feel empty inside. It’s the only time when it’s okay to feel empty inside. How can you sleep with poop in you? You literally full of sh*t. You’re sleeping in your own sh*t. Poop before our go to bed.

villain chairs

Villains are always just sitting on a throne of some type. I would think- doesn’t that get boring after awhile? Villains are either trying to take over the world or just sitting in a very uncomfortable chair in a evil layer that’s always dark. Always dimly lit. Can you give the place a little love? Paint the place, decorate, or turn on some lights. Be inviting when you have guests. But back to the chair these villains sit on. The chair is not a comfortable desk chair with wheels. It’s usually a big oversized chair that’s made of stone. Who wants that? It can’t recline. It’s not a Lazy boy. How much nicer would Snoke or Thanos be if they were in a recliner? I could hear Darth Vader saying, “War is off guys… I’m comfortable… very comfortable. I just got a new recliner.” But I guess I would want the world to end too if I had to sit on in a dark room on cold stone all day.

professional

They have these fancy names for help desks at retail stores. At Home Depot its called the Pro Desk, at Best Buy it’s the Geek Squad, and at Apple it’s the Genius Bar. I don’t think a genius would be working at Apple for $12 an hour helping people to turn their phone on and off. I think geniuses are doing better work in the world than making sure you can send a text. I see all these ‘pros’ at Home Depot just sitting around. They don’t look like professionals at all. They look like professional lazy people. The Geek squad at Best Buy is the only customer service team keeping it real. They are true geeks.

pulling back the curtains

As I reflect on the 100 blogs I’ve written there has been some ups and downs. We shared moments together. We’ve laughed together. We’ve even cried together. Here is to 100 more. Thanks to the loyal weekly 15 readers.

doogie howser moment

If there’s one thing in life that you need it’s windshield wipers that are good in minus 85 to 185 degree weather because the world is ending. It won’t matter if you worked at the Home Depot Pro Desk, Geek Squad at Best Buy, or Genius Bar at Apple. It won’t matter that you sleep with poop in your body or that people drink chip dust, because there is a villain somewhere planning the end of the world because he is sitting in a uncomfortable chair.