proof I’m still immature
I looked at my phone and my battery was at 69%. I snickered.
my name is
I work at a non profit setting assisting families/clients in retaining employment. I check in with my clients and there guardians once per month through email, phone call, or text. One parent of a client I serve texted me and thought my name was Chris. I texted back “Sounds good but my name is Curt”. I haven’t heard back from her yet. The reason I’m telling you this is because this is the first time I’ve corrected someone who has called me by the wrong name. Usually, I will let it go and let someone call me by the wrong name. It could go on for days, months, or years without me saying my correct name. I don’t like correcting people. I felt rude that I corrected her even though she should know my name since we’ve talked for over a year. I hope I didn’t offend her. I should’ve just let her call me Chris.
gross university
The other day I was thinking about how gross college kids are. They are a disgusting population. Being in college is the first time young people become independent and live on their own. This is the first time mommy is not doing laundry, making you dinner, or washing your dishes. You have to take care of yourself. This is your first real attempt at being a clean human. I look back and feel disgusted by all the times I’ve passed out on a carpet that probably was never vacuumed. I feel hideous by walking barefoot in a bathroom with pubes and piss all over the floor. I’m sure not much has changed since I went to college in 2005 but it probably hasn’t. I’m sure kids are still gross wearing the same underwear for days, cooking food in a microwave full of tomato stains, and not brushing there teeth daily.
teen bean
I don’t like middle school kids who drink coffee. I don’t like any teen who drinks coffee. What the hell do you need caffiene for? I thought coffee was for working parents who are strung out and need to get through the day, not for a teen who spends hours looking at a phone. There is no reason a middle school kid should be going to Starbucks. There should be a drinking age for coffee, not just alcohol. All these kids tweeked out on some arabic beans talking non sense about how their woke. Screw off. Drink some orange juice you highly caffeinated fiend.
down under
While driving my car the other day I called someone a “k*ntaroo”. What’s a “k*ntaroo? It’s the word c*nt and kangaroo put together. It’s not that bad using the ‘c’ word if you mix it in with a cute cuddly animal like the kangaroo. It takes the severity and aggressiveness out of the word and makes it a little lighter. I don’t feel remorseful for saying it that way. Do you ever just drive by someone who looks so dumb that you just say “what the hell is wrong with you? Wipe that dumb look off your face.” I get so annoyed looking at people’s dumb faces while I drive by. They look so dumb they shouldn’t be allowed to drive. It’s like how did you get a license with that dumb face. That’s why your a k*ntaroo.
hippie lumberjack
I wear cologne now. My entire life I’ve never worn cologne but now I guess I care about my scent. I don’t wear deodorant so I use it as my deodorant. It’s not spray cologne. I don’t like spray cologne. It’s a solid cologne made out of beeswax and essential oils. It’s my hippie cologne. I have one scent called Lumber which smells like Carmex. Not sure how it smells like Carmex? Do lumberjacks have chapped lips? Maybe if they are out in the cold chopping wood all day. I was hoping to smell like Paul Bunyan. He’s a famous lumberjack. Paul Bunyan looks like he got laid a lot. I want to smell like I get laid a lot.
doogie howser moment
I’ve touched on a lot of emotions that range from anger to annoyance to disgust in this post. Why are we angered by things that don’t even affect our lives? Should I care that teenagers drink coffee when there not supposed to? No. Should I care about the looks on peoples faces while they drive? No. I should care that people know my name but I don’t. I should get annoyed that my Lumber cologne doesn’t smell like wood but I’m not. Maybe I’ll donate my Lumber cologne to all the gross college kids out there.