intro
If you have ever been in a serious relationship and sucked at it your gf probably has told you to read the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate written in 1992 by Gary Chapman. I dont trust Garys in general. My dad’s name was Gary. We haven’t talked in years. The book outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls “love languages”. The love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. This is not a book review, it’s just my thoughts on the love languages.
words of affirmation
The first language of love is words of affirmation. It’s where you show love by encouraging, affirming, and empathizing with your partner. You show this by sending a text, writing a hand written note or card. I tried this method of love and wrote a note to my partner. “Please put your dishes away in the dishwasher after you’re done eating. Thank you.” It was a handwritten note, I’m also encouraging her to put her dish away, and I’m affirming that’s what I want. I’ve also sent an unexpected text during the day like “how’s your day going dude?” Yes, I call my gf dude.
quality time
This language of love is pretty self explanatory. Spend quality time with your partner. Quality time is uninterrupted one on one time with your partner. You do this by creating special moments together. For example, taking walks, going on weekend getaways, or doing small things with your partner. We don’t go out for walks but I do walk with her to the living room when we go watch TV. I have walked with her in the kitchen while I’m doing her dishes. I’ve gone on weekend getaways to getaway from everyone. I also believe I spend a great amount of quality time with her when were in bed sleeping together. We spend 8 hours of uninterrupted time sleeping together. It’s wonderful.
receiving gifts
Receiving gifts is the language of love of thoughtfulness. It’s about making your spouse a priority. It’s giving thoughtful gifts or gestures. It’s showing gratitude to your partner after receiving a gift. It could be buying a favorite beverage, lotion, or taking her out for dinner. I’ve done this love language before. I’ve thought of her by getting her gifts. I once bought her an umbrella from Goodwill. I thought it was thoughtful. Who likes to get wet when it rains? It could ruin your whole day if outfit is drenched. Nevermind that this umbrella was used, stained, and from the early 90s which also gave off a musty smell. It was the thought of that cheap old used umbrella.
acts of service
Acts of service is my least favorite love language. Acts of service make the relationship seem like a chore, a job, or a internship. Acts of service means saying, “I’ll help”. It’s doing chores together. It’s alleviating their daily workload to make their life a little bit easier and better. I have a hard time accepting this one. I end up feeling like a butler or nanny whenever I do something I’m supposed to do like clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, or shovel the snow. I’ve been trying to work on this one. Lately, I’ve been taking out the garbage with so much love, heart, and passion. It makes my gf melt. I’ve noticed a lot of changes. She will respond, “I love you so much when you recycle.” That hasn’t happened yet but maybe one day.
physical touch
The last language of love is physical touch. This one is non verbal. You show you love someone by showing positive body language and touch. It’s a hug, kiss, or cuddle. Make this one a priority. You often see couples sit on different couches at the end of night or eat at the ends of the dinner table when they grow old. I’ve been trying to do this one more. I like to give my gf a great big bear hug. I also poke, antagonize, and prod her. It’s also fun to pinch her sides. I’m like her annoying little brother. I think I’m doing this one wrong.
doogie howser moment
As you can see I’m working on all these “love languages”. I’m better at the passive aggressive language in where I give her the silent treatment or be stubborn. I’m better at the blame language which is blaming my partner for everything that’s not her fault. I’m really good at the no touch language in where we don’t touch each other unless we bump into each other on accident. I guess I need to read the book again. To my defense, how does my gf expect me to know what the love language is? I speak English.
LOL