# 137 “vase”

I ponder again

How do you know when you’re having a mid life crisis?

sadphone

There is huge link with teen depression and phones. It’s not the phone itself. That would be funny. Kids looked at a phone and it caused them to cry. No,it’s not that. When we grew up we never had teen depression because of our land lines. In retrospect we should’ve because we shared a phone with everyone in the house but it’s the social media on the phone that causes depression. Well teens join the club. Welcome to life. Your way ahead of the game of being jolted by life. It gets worse by the way. I guess you’re getting a head start on what life will become. Smartphones ain’t so smart, they sad.

window nose

I’m becoming a nosey neighbor. I will look out the window if I see any sign of movement. I’m desperate for entertainment or something I can complain about. I watch the same neighbor who lives across the street use there garage door as there door. They don’t even park their car in the garage. I think that’s the part that gets me. I never seen them go through their front door. I don’t think they have a key. As I was watching them use the garage door I was like I hope there garage door breaks. They are abusing it. It shouldn’t concern me but it does.

tj vase

My step daughter broke a vase that I thought her mom got from TJ Maxx. My step daughter accidentally knocked it over while moving a mattress. I thought the vase was from the clearance rack at TJ Maxx so I didn’t care. I told her to throw it away before her mom got home so she wouldn’t notice. In my head I’m like this piece of junk is from TJ Maxx. Later that day I find out it wasn’t from TJ maxx it was actually a hand made piece of art. It was an original piece of art work. One of a kind especially made for her. An artist spent days or probably weeks making it. It was $300 but that was given as a discount. I felt bad that I thought it was from TJ Maxx.

local nobody

I went to a NBA Basketball game and sat courtside. I dressed as rocker. I wanted to look like a local celebrity. I had my hair down, big fedora hat, jean jacket, and skinny jeans. I more looked like a washed up has been. I looked like one of those rockers who aged out in there 80s. It backfired. No one gave me attention because I looked like I was in a garage band called the “Crying Emojis” and I was the only member. My YouTube page would have 10 followers and half of those followers were on accident. They probably thought it was a different band. In the end, no one thought I was a celebrity, it didn’t work.

boner kill

I saw a fly in a porn. It’s true. It was just flying around while a couple was having sex. I guess I shouldn’t expect much since it was in the amateur section. I don’t know what was dirtier the sex or the room they were in? Next time you film a porn check for bugs. I don’t want to see flies. It was a real buzzkill. I can’t get a boner with flies flying around.

doogie howser moment

Don’t worry I’m not in a mid life crisis even though I posed as a rockstar that no one knew about during a NBA game. I just watch amateur porn with flies flying around. I also watch my neighbors park there car, not having sex, that would make me puke, our block is not hot. I wonder if my neighbors watch what my family does in their spare time. I wonder if they saw me and my stepdaughter throw away the broken vase that we opened the garage door for or were they on there sadphones watching someone else do something. Maybe they are in a mid life crises and don’t even know it.