intro
Cheetos are not a good airplane snack.
my reaction: Cheetos are not a good anytime snack.
trippin
My family and I went on a vacation to Arizona. We stayed in a Air B n B in Scottsdale. Scottsdale states it’s the “most livable city”. Not sure what they are basing that off. The city is full of golf courses, spa resorts, and fake tits. It should be called the city of spandex. All I saw was spandex. So much spandex. Was spandex invented there? Everyone is wearing black spandex. Doesn’t black color conduct more heat? I imagine a lot of sweaty crotches. How is a city in the desert the most livable city? Last time I checked deserts don’t have water. Deserts don’t seem livable to me at all.
drake juice
I went to a juice bar at 8:00 am and they were bumping Drake. I like Drake but 8:00 am is too early to listen to Drake rap about going hard or whining about an ex girlfriend. That’s way too early to listen to one of the greatest rappers of all time. I need to listen to something light and easy on the ears at that time. I don’t want to feel like I’m at the club at 8:00 am. I’m just waking up. I want to ease into the day. I don’t want to listen to Drake rap about all the girls he has had sex with while I down my sorrows with a $10 smoothie.
dispense cool
I decided to go to a weed dispensary while in Arizona because I like to feel cool. I hardly do weed. I just wanted to go to feel like I was doing something wrong. My main reason was to bring a few edibles back to where I live because where I live it’s illegal. I ended up sneaking them in my 5 year old son’s suitcase. I thought if he gets caught they can’t try him as an adult. They would just throw it out. After we got home we opened our son’s bag and there was a note stating it was randomly checked by TSA. Go figure. Well I guess you didn’t do a good job because the edibles made it through. My son makes a good mule. Anyways the female cashier I bought the edibles was pregnant. I was getting marijuana advice from a pregnant lady.
it’s vacation
Whenever you go on a trip people will always say “it’s vacation” when you do something you normally don’t do where you live. It’s basically saying live a little. Live it up. It’s also a way to justify unhealthy habits on vacation. “Oh just let him. It’s vacation.” Let him eat desert for breakfest, candy for lunch, and ice cream for dinner.’ Let him get rotten teeth, IBS, and a mental health disorder after all it’s vacation.
5 star snacks
My twin brother is a chef and when he gets bored he will make a snack. A snack for him is a main course meal at a 5 star restaurant. My brother will be sitting on the couch and then be like I need to cook out of boredom. He will go on to make a shrimp curry dish from scratch. He whip up a beef stew in minutes. He’ll make meals that take hours in minutes. He once made chili using ketchup as a base. The guy will make you a Chinese buffet in 30 minutes with just rice, broccoli, and chicken bites. The guy will wake up in the middle of the night and make spaghetti and meatballs because he hears his stomach growl.
bite me
The best food I ate on vacation was chicken bites. Yes, you heard me right. I had the best chicken bites ever. I bet you didn’t know you could rate chicken bites. It’s true. You can rate chicken bites. Chicken bites are reserved for kids. They are littered in the frozen food section at Wal Mart. But these chicken bites chicken bites were out of this world. The only knock was that they were in the shape of chicken strips not chicken bites. They were fried like real fried chicken. They were homemade chicken bites from a restaurant. I couldn’t believe it. These chicken bites were unique. Each bite was different.
doogie howser moment
In retrospect my vacation was great because I was in the most livable city. I felt so alive. I had a great smoothie and even better chicken bites. I went to a dispensary even though I didn’t need to. I felt like Drake. I really lived life to the fullest. I had 5 star snacks my brother made not Cheetos but I’m sure he could’ve made a dish with generic Cheetos. Overall, it was great. I even thought about wearing black spandex after all it’s vacation.