intro
Some towns need Earth Day more than others.
river assault
My step daughter had her first soccer game of the season in Rockford, IL. We live in Milwaukee so it’s a 1.5 hour drive from us. Usually before I go to a city I like to look at the crime statistics. I want to know what I’m getting myself into. I’ve heard Rockford is not that great but I wanted to see for myself. I read a statistic that 1 out of every 25 people will either be a victim of assault or property damage. That’s an unusual stat. Assault and property damage shouldn’t be in the same category. Luckily, I didn’t see one act of assault or property damage while we were there. However the river that ran through town was very dirty. If anything, looking at that river assaulted me.
smellys
While we were in Rockford we ended up going to a thrift store. The thrift store was like Goodwill but with sports clothes from the 80s/90s. It was a blast from the past. It was full of shirts, sweatshirts, and jackets from the 1990s. The place was called Smiley’s but it should’ve been called Smelly’s. All old clothes have a stench no matter how well it’s been taken care of. I felt obligated to buy something since we were loitering in the store for awhile. I wanted to buy something local to remember my trip to Rockford. I ended up buying a $25 Colorado Rockies T Shirt that was worn out and musty. I bought a Colorado shirt while I was in Illinois.
cooked cook
We ate at a brewery called Prairie Street Brewery. Don’t you love when breweries name there breweries after a street? You were that creative to make 10 different beers but you couldn’t come up with a unique name. We ate lunch there because it had a ‘chef inspired’ menu. I think that’s another way of saying someone who isn’t a chef made the food. I could make ‘chef inspired’ food at home by boiling a pot of ramen noodles and topping it with a boiled egg. My gf overheard a customer ask the waitress “what’s good here?” The waitress replied, “well it depends on who’s cooking today.” The customer replied, “well.. who’s cooking?” and she said, “I”m not sure.” Meaning the bad cook was there. I’m glad she told me this after we ate our meal or else I would’ve left. On the way out I had to use the bathroom and saw puke in the sink. It definitely confirmed my suspicion that the bad chef was cooking that day.
na juice
While at the brewery I asked our waiter if he had any NA options and he replied, “we have apple juice”. Dude, I’m not drinking apple juice. Do I give you apple juice vibes? I was asking if you have any Non Alcoholic beer not juice. I know all soda, juice, and water is NA. Technically it’s all NA if it isn’t beer, liquor, or wine. It’s the first time I’ve asked a waiter if they had NA options and they replied, ‘we have apple juice.” He was serious too. He didn’t crack a smile. He was stone cold serious. Maybe I shouldn’t go to a brewery and ask for Non Alcoholic beer. I ended up getting a water… a NA water.
slots
There were numerous places in Rockford you could play slot machines. They were small buildings all around town that just said SLOTS. I don’t think they had a name. Slots are depressing. Just pulling for a better future. Just hoping with one pull everything will improve. How miserable yet optimistic can you be? I drove the entire city of Rockford and didn’t see one grocery store but there was a place to play slots at every corner. You know your town isn’t doing good when slots are at every turn. You may not be able to feed your appetite but you can feed your addiction.
doogie howser moment
I know it sounds like I was trashing Rockford but I wasn’t. I would definitely go back. I want to try to find the grocery store. I will go back to try to win big at one of the slot places then stimulate the economy. I will ensure that a fair wage is given to all cooks so I don’t have to worry about bad food. I will buy overpriced retro shirts that smell like must. I will clean up the river and turn it back to its natural color. I will buy apple juice for all. Happy Earth Day.