something I don’t like that other people like
fluffy towels
my reaction: I don’t like towels that are fluffy. Towels that are fluffy make my body feel uncomfortable. After showering I like a nice worn out dry towel to dry off with it. Towels that have no fluff. Towels that look like they’ve been used like a worn out a$$ rag. Fluffy towels are no good.
no one
I always say ‘no one in the house does anything‘ when I see a mess that I believe my significant other should’ve cleaned. It’s me passive aggressively calling out my gf. When I say no one I just mean her. I don’t mean anyone else in the house. I say it in ear shot so she can hear me. It’s something I say when I’m in a grumpy mood and I don’t feel like taking out the garbage when someone had multiple times to take it out. I think I’ve heard her say the same thing about me. I’ve heard her say ‘no one ever” says “I’ll pay for dinner tonight”.
wild west
I’m currently watching a TV show that takes place in the Wild West in the 1800s. After seeing all the hardship, disease, and outlaws I don’t think I would’ve lasted long. I have no place in the Wild West. I wouldn’t care if there was a gold rush. I wouldn’t head west to be rich. I would be just content living in a small town away from all the outlaws. I can hardly make it in the Midwest right now and the Midwest is known as one of the most friendly places in America. I live in the heartland. I live in one of the nicest places and I still think that’s hard.
baby sad
I think my daughter has mental health issues. She is going through a lot. I think she is depressed. She needs a therapist. She doesn’t talk. She throws huge fits. She poops her pants. I think she needs to be medicated. She shouldn’t be feeling like this. She is 1 1/2 years old.
random comment that doesn’t need to be said
My gf has big feet
cough mattress
Recently, I had a really bad cough so I couldn’t sleep in my bed with my gf. She banished me to a different room. So, I went downstairs and slept on a twin mattress. I haven’t slept on a twin mattress since I was in junior high. It’s tough going from a King mattress to a Twin mattress. It’s so small but it’s also empowering. I felt like I was single again. It was just me and my mattress. I felt like I wasn’t over consuming either. It was just enough mattress.
best man
I can never see my son on his wedding day say, “I want to give thanks to my father who taught me how to be a man. He showed me the definition of being a man. He is a man in all it’s glory. He really showed me what it embodies.” I just don’t see that happening. I don’t know what I’ve taught him that would make him think he’s a man. I don’t fish, hunt, or do carpentry. My basic survival skills are calling 911. What have I taught my kid? How to turn on the faucet, watch YouTube, and the basics of telling a fart joke.
doogie howser moment
I’m so glad I didn’t have to live in the Wild West. Instead I’ve made my life seem so hard to live in the Wild Mid West but it’s not. It’s actually the Mild Mid West. The hardest thing I have to overcome is if I have a Big Feet sighting. Maybe that’s why my toddler has mental health issues. She has seen the big foot. I don’t look at my gf’s big foot anymore I just cover up with a fluffy towel or just fake a cough to sleep in another room on a twin mattress. And that’s why my son will never thank me for teaching him to be a man. In conclusion, does no one in this house have small feet.