what i should’ve gotten my gf for valentine’s day but didn’t
flowers
my reaction: I didn’t get my gf flowers for Valentines Day because every rose has it’s thorns. I didn’t want to hurt her physically. I care about her so much that I didn’t want her to accidently get cut from holding flowers.
pika freaka
I snapped last week. I lost control of my emotions. It happens to the best of us. But what set me off wasn’t even reasonable. My son had thrown a Pikachu stuffy and it hit me in my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I threw the Pikachu across the room. My son was almost in tears. My two-year-old then yelled at me and stomped out of the room. It started a chain of an emotional events. My son stated he doesn’t like when I yell because it’s annoying. I felt bad for yelling. I don’t like yelling. I shouldn’t have yelled especially if it involved a soft plush Pikachu stuffy. I acted like he threw a hammer at my face. It didn’t hurt at all. I guess when it comes to feelings I gotta catch’em all.
plunge presso
I do a cold plunge every morning. I have a inflatable pool that’s made for cold plunging. It’s outside on the side of our house. I will walk out in 20 degree weather in my swimsuit and then submerge my body in icy water. It’s intense. I sometimes have to break the ice because the water is frozen on top. I will last about 2 minutes until I can’t feel my fingers and toes. People will compare doing a cold plunge to having an espresso in the morning. I disagree. I’m not shivering, cold, and wet after I take an espresso shot. I don’t put on a bathing suit before I take an espresso shot. Honestly, I don’t drink espresso but if I did I wouldn’t be wet after I took one.
scoops for days
I recently did inventory of our kitchen utensils at our house. I realized we have 4 ice cream scoopers. 4 is way too many. 3 is way too many. Even 2 ice cream scoopers. No family needs 4 ice cream scoopers. I don’t care if your family has 20 people in it. There is never going to be a time when 4 people all want different ice cream at the exact time and need to scoop exactly at the same time. I can understand if you have multiple spatulas. I don’t think we have 2 spatulas. Our kitchen drawer is highly dysfunctional. We need a third-party audit of all kitchen utensils.
the 2nd page
You ever go surfing the web and reach the 2nd page of Google search results? It starts to get weird. It gets out of hand. There is no useful information after the first page of results. It’s all smut. I looked up giraffes. I wanted to know more about giraffes after I went to the zoo. I ended up on the 2nd page of Giraffe news. I didn’t need this much giraffe news. I started to learn about giraffes genitals. I’m now an expert in Girafee genitals. Do you know male giraffes sniff female giraffes urine for pheromones? The female actually pees in the male’s mouth and sex only last seconds. It’s like a reverse R. Kelly move. And we thought we were freaky.
few-ture
I remember growing up in the 1990s and people would always say “children are our future”. That was the big slogan politicians, educators, and philanthropists used. I used to hear it every year. It was a reminder that we must invest in the children because our future depends on it. Honestly, I don’t hear that slogan anymore. I haven’t heard ‘children are our future’ in decades. Once kids got screens, we abandoned them. No one believes that children are our future anymore. Do you blame them? We need to make children our future again.
doogie howser moment
In summary, I still stand by not getting flowers for my gf for Valentines Day. She may not be a child, but she is my future. My gf is the future. I did buy her ice cream though. She won’t have any troubles scooping ice cream in this house. I think all the cold plunges are going to my head. I’m not able to think straight. I know too much about Giraffes nuts. I might snap again. I hope a stuffed animal doesn’t hit my face.