#40 like Calbert Cheaney

overheard in a conversation I was in

“you have commitment issues”- my gf to me

my reaction: She is half right and half wrong. But how do you explain the fact that I’ve been with you the last 12 years? Riddle me that. Checkmate. The ball is in your court. How can I have commitment issues if I’ve been in a relationship for over a decade? Pen drop.

do you validate

My 7th grade step daughter told her mom that one of her friend’s think she is cool. I immediately got jealous. Why am I not cool? What does she do that’s so cool and I don’t? But I shouldn’t care. Do I really need to be validated by what a 7th grader thinks? No, I shouldn’t, but I do. Am I that pathetic that I care what a 7th grader thinks of me? Maybe. The reason she thinks her mom is cool is because she said, “your mom is cool like us because she uses emojis”. After hearing that I felt a lot better. I now realize I don’t need a 7th grader to validate me, I need an 8th grader to.

joke job

My brother has 2 at home jobs. I don’t think you heard me right . He has 2 full time at home jobs. He works at Go Daddy and Door Dash. He is straight hustling from his bedroom. He makes my one job having @ss look pitiful. But it makes sense to have 2 jobs right now. What else you going to do during a pandemic? Might as well work. I referred to his Door Dash job as a “joke job”because it sounded funny. He helps customers who have issues with their deliveries. For example, if you have an issue with your Big Mac you go to my brother. He’ll make sure you get the Mac you were looking for. You ordered a whopper and got a chicken sandwich? Take it up with him. You got boneless wings instead of real wings? He’ll call BW3s to fix that. His “joke job” pays more than my job that I’ve been at for the last 5 years. So in reality the joke is on me. I got the joke job.

don’t toy with me

It took me 1 hour to finish putting together a toy car designed for a 6 year old. The toy car was a STEM activity designed for a 6 year old to put together in 15 minutes. STEM means Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. I never did good in those subjects. After a few cuss words and tantrums I put together the dumb toy. And I have commitment issues? I never said I put it together correctly, but nonetheless I put it together. I felt a sense of accomplishment even though it broke after 5 minutes of my son playing it. It’s not the end goal, it’s the journey. Next time we are buying a completed toy.

update on my downdate

I feel like not enough people felt sorry for me after getting Covid-19. I’m also pretty upset my immune system failed me. I have worked so hard to be healthy and my immune system goes and screws me over. How are you going to do me like that immune system? I thought we were boys. I think I’m more upset that my friends didn’t seem to care. I feel like people should care more. They are taking my life for granted. I’m a covid survivor and they seemed to be more worried about the James Harden trade.

one night mare

I had a dream that I had a one night stand. It’s always fun to have a sex dream to spice up your sleep. But if you do have a dream about a one night stand don’t tell your significant other immediately after waking up. It wasn’t a good one night stand. It was a nightmare one night stand. She had no a$$. Literatally, it was not there. It felt like a bag of bones. Her a$$ was like a chicken nugget that’s been run over by a semi 10 times. I felt so gross. The butt was famished, sick, and frail. It was like the a$$ of Gandhi. While in my dream I went to the bathroom to wash my crotch. It was that bad but I still had the sense in my dream to wash my self. I immediately left not feeling good about myself. She had to leave too. She had to get to work. She said she worked at Taco Bell. That’s the last time I ‘live mas’. After that I felt like ‘living less’.

pulling back the curtains

Calbert Cheaney was selected 6th overall by the Washington Bullets in the 1993 NBA draft. During his thirteen-year NBA career, Cheaney played for five different teams, averaging 9.5 points and 3.2 rebounds. He starred as a player for the Indiana Hoosiers from 1989–93 under coach Bob Knight. Bobby Knight had one of the biggest tempers in college basketball history. I’m sure he would’ve made me cry everyday if I played for him. I’m glad I didn’t play for him. He ended his career as a three-time All-American and remains the Big Ten’s all-time leading scorer with 2,613 career points.

doogie howser moment

I have a lot going on in my head. I have commitment issues, I care what 7th graders think, and had covid. I haven’t smelled my poop in weeks. I can hardly put a kid’s toy together. I can’t dream a good one night stand. But all in all, it’s all good, I still want to ‘live mas’.